What is Anger ? – The Complete Guide

What is anger? It is that feeling of exploding energy deep inside of us; the intense irritation that clouds our judgment and heightens our animal instinct. Anger is something we all have experienced. However anger, psychologically speaking, is not a negative emotion. In fact, anger is better than apathy if we know how to deal with it.

Anger gives us energy we may learn to manage and use for our own benefit. But, to be able to do this, first we must know what we are dealing with.

You must realize that you can never run away from anger and live the rest of your life anger-free. Any healthy human is susceptible to anger at any time.

 

Why Do We Get Angry?

Why Do We Get AngryAnger, unlike most of us perceives it, is just an emotional defensive system that protects us from “a threat” that wronged us in a certain way, or stands between us and our goal.

Here are the most common reasons why we get angry:

  • Someone going against something (a principle) we stand for and see as important.
  • Facing something that may cause harm to us or our loved ones.
  • Having our property mistreated in a way we find wrong and offensive.
  • Having our EGO hurt by something/someone.
  • Suffering a blow to our place in a social group.
  • Losing when money is at stake.
  • Being wronged or treated unfairly and feeling powerless to change this.

 

How Do Our Bodies React in Anger?

Our Bodies on AngerEach of our feelings has a certain impact on our bodies and minds, even if sometimes the impact is so small we cannot perceive the change.

Anger creates Very Similar Physical Profile Like Stress. Our heart rate, blood pressure, blood sugar levels and blood flow to our muscles increases, our nervous system is aroused and we start to sweat.

Anger sharpens our senses and promotes large amounts of adrenaline to be produced.

The adrenaline has a job to prepare muscles for extension and break down glycogen to produce energy.

Our psychological immune system on the other hand, creates a brief mindset to ease the job of our mind.

 

How Do Our Minds React in Anger?

Our Mind on AngerWe Simplify Complex Information into right and wrong instances and we get urges to act instantly because of the “emergency” we are facing.

This psychological profile is stopping us to over-think or connect too many dots with a purpose to prevent us from wasting valuable time weighing up information that doesn’t instantly affect our safety or well-being.

This is the main reason why we do things in anger that we usually regret later. We are unable to take in consideration the bigger picture for our own safety.

The whole psychophysical image is showing us that when angry, our bodies and minds are preparing for a fight – an action.

 

Why are We Preparing for a Fight?

Attacked by A BearThis instinct was developed long ago since we were living in the wild being faced with grave danger every day when, let’s say we faced a bear.

Teaching our bodies to react fast and without questioning was the main reason why we swapped from being the food to hunting the food.

In the modern society today the chance of facing a bear is veeeery little, we can safely say there is no chance. However, our instinct being transferred through our DNA remained the same.

Because our way of living is drastically safer than it was all those years ago the trigger for getting angry lowered its bar from being attacked by a bear to having an argument with your co-worker.

This is why we usually act like savages when we are angry.

 

What are The Ways We Usually Act when Angry?

Acting AngryAnger takes many different forms from blinding rage to resentment that festers over many years; we differ from being irritated to Being Pissed Off;

Don’t mistake aggression with anger! Aggression is only one way of expressing anger and suppressing someone from being aggressive may in fact raise their levels of anger.

If you want to help someone to stop being angry go beyond aggression and focus on the anger.

There are 2 main ways of dealing with anger – Constructive and Destructive; opposite of what many believe, anger can be incredibly effective tool if used properly.

Usually people who are morally outraged focus their anger on creating campaigns for change which may lead to a better tomorrow for everyone.

The 4 most common ways of expressing anger are:

  • Aggression – usually the case for alcoholics or drug abusers.
  • Verbally – often in a form of threatening, shouting, using dramatic words, bombarding with questions or exaggerating.
  • Indirectly – by being cynical or making others feel guilty.
  • Internally – people may shake physically or even harm themselves when they are alone but they’ll never express their anger around other people.

Internally is the worst and most harmful way to cope with anger. Through this way the anger you feel is just accumulating in your Emotional Baggage and sooner or later it will blow up all at once.

Mind PointsTHE CODE

<Anger is not healthy if experienced too frequently, but it is a positive emotion if we use it for positive changes, it is an emotional defensive system and we cannot run away from it, we must learn how to manage it>

A Glimpse into The Future

Through a magical window, Life Coach Code saw a glimpse into the future. A glimpse into everyone’s future.

Look BackThere will be a time when we look back and remember our life. We will miss every moment that now we don’t even perceive. We will remember everything that doesn’t matter to us now.

Old people say youth is priceless. They know what we are capable of doing right at this moment, while we plan our futures. They know the importance of what we have while we waste it on bulls**t.

Whiny

Life is funny my lovely readers, it makes us look like a bunch of whiny pus**es. Winter comes we want summer, summer comes we want winter.

We are kids we want to grow up, we grew up we want to be kids. We go to school we want to have a job, we have a job we want to go to school again. We are cold we want to get hot, we are hot we want the cold. Someone loves us we ignore them, someone ignores us we love them.

We want to get smart until we decide that ignorance is bliss. We want freedom but when the door is open we are scared to set ourselves free.

We need wars to teach us what peace is, we need chaos to learn order, we need night to love the day, we need darkness to see the light.

It is not what happens; it is us who are wrong. We are unsatisfied with whatever happens and we whine while we should appreciate and be free helping each other and live by each other’s happiness.

Observable The UniverseDo you know how rare love is in This Universe? Do you know how big This Universe is? Almost infinite….. as far as we know, and in all probability there are just a couple of planets with life. Even if there is life, love may not exist in all those planets because some of the species that live there are not able to produce such chemicals.

Time VariableNow, through all that space there comes Time, the other variable that shaped the moment for you to be exactly then, when you met the girl/boy you fell in love with. Do you get the slightest idea how rare that moment was, the moment where Love was created for you to feel it or for someone else that loves you?!?!?!?!!

And the greatest tragedy, not just in The Universe but in life, is when we act with less attention to this Love than if we have a loud a** screaming fart. We act as the only thing that exists is our city; we don’t even take care for our country, not to speak about The World or The Universe.

Love Issues 2We stumble upon this rare gifts of life and we sh*t over them. We go through life giving attention to things that if some other species come and see, they would probably blow their brains from boredom.

We value things that approve our ego or give us an image of superiority while we can give that to ourselves without any material thing. We value the material things instead of the things that created the material things in the first place. That’s like a marathon runner valuing his medal more than the run he got his medal for.

We get lost in the endless abyss of the “game of life” which makes us cold hearted beasts, working like slaves to buy things we don’t need just to get that “tap on the shoulder” not even giving a damn if we destroy lives in the process.

Young vs OldAnd then we suddenly grow old. And then we suddenly realize how wrong the world is, how wrong we did and how much we could have done while we were busy kissing a**.

Well done! We waste our whole lives learning that we waste our whole lives.

A Glimpse into The Future

Then we turn our attention to our kids because they are the only thing that will continue our genetic code. We tell them how to live, we do everything to make them realize that they go through the exact same steps we went and that the road leads to the same place we are now. But guess what? They are busy planning their own lives.

I am sorry for my language, all I really wanted to say is: Forget about everything It Really Doesn’t Matter. What matters is now! Live, be happy, feel, appreciate people who love you, love, dance, be free! That’s the only plan we need in life!

Heart PointsTHE CODE

<The greatest tragedy in life is the question “What if…..?”>

Oscar Wilde: “Most People Exist, That is All”

Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde was an Irish writer and poet. He became one of the London’s most popular playwrights at 1890’s. He was imprisoned being convicted of sodomy.

Wilde served his two years in prison and then spent the last three years of his life in exile. He died at the age of 45 and was buried in Paris. He is most remembered by his only novel “The Picture of Dorian Gray” and his satirical statements.

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” – Oscar Wilde

What did he try to say with this quote? We all know that he says to find meaning in our lives but what does that mean? What does finding a meaning means?

Survive OnlyAs we grow old we get lost in the system of life we’ve created. We start going to school from a young age.

As time goes by we continue our education so we can have a decent job. When we grow into adults and finish our education, we take a decent job and we work our a**es off to secure our hardly earned position.

Years after working hard we create a family and we continue with our hard work just so our kids can get as great education as we did.

In a blink of an eye we are ready to retire; our kids are all grown up and leave home continuing with the process; we acquire pension and we are finished with this process of securing our life; For What?

What are we left with after all of this except experience on the things we didn’t even love doing that much?

Working Our Whole LifeThe paradox in all this is that we dedicate our whole life to make sure we, and our whole family, will live a safe life and be able to dedicate their whole life to make sure their family will live a safe life and so on. What’s wrong with this process?

We live in a constant fear. As much as we don’t want to agree, the evidence is here. Look at it! It’s in front of you! Aren’t you a little mad? Why don’t you scream from the bottom of your heart in frustration? You waste your life on pointless things that fear orders you to do.

Being AfraidBreak free from this chains buddy! Look fear in the eyes! Doesn’t this make you so angry that you want your fear to be afraid of you?! But don’t!

You Cannot Fight Fear with Fear. Fear is fought with courage; by facing it. After it does its little tricks to scare you just say “It’s ok buddy. I know you are more afraid than me”.

Get to the other side of fear and you’ll see that it is just love turned upside down. Free your fear!

Only by freeing our fear and letting go we can do the things that we truly want to do.

The Cave You Fear to EnterThe greatest treasures hide in the cave we fear to enter because they are on the other side of fear; they are what we love and what we love is our greatest treasure. If you enter the cave you fear you bypass fear with courage and therefore get to the other side.

Forget everything. Find Your Life’s Purpose, discover your passions and talents; listen to what your heart has to say and just let go of the limits fear chained you with. Start doing all of those things; that’s how you bypass fear.

If fear says but how will we earn money to survive laugh at it. Say “not by being afraid!”

If fear says but you cannot be a painter, you cannot support a family with that salary, say “watch me!” and die trying if you need to, to prove it wrong! It is better to die while trying to live than die while never living at all.

Those who are brave die only once but those who are cowards die multiple times through their life.

Have FunDon’t take life too seriously. There is no point in being serious, there is nothing happy, nor responsible, nor spiritual about seriousness. Life is fun, life is joy and playfulness, and anyone who says differently is more miserable than you are.

If you think being serious about some problem makes you worthy of its importance you are gravely lying to yourself. You can be laughing and joking about a problem and always find finer solutions than being serious because you don’t limit your imagination.

“Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.” – Oscar Wilde

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The worthiness of a man comes from honoring something bigger than the problem itself. The strength of a man comes from being strong enough not to take things seriously but in the same time understand their importance. The greatness of a man comes from remaining a humble human through all of this.

Our LightThe only reason why we are serious is because we are afraid that we are not strong enough to laugh about a problem and solve it.

The only reason why we think we are not strong enough is because we doubt ourselves.

We doubt ourselves because we are afraid to find out how great we can truly be.

It’s our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Don’t ask yourself “Who am I to be great?”, instead ask yourself “Who am I not to be great?!”

The UniverseThe thing is, You live on a giant rock spinning around a star. You are a product of process longer than 3,7 billion years. You are made of 99,9% empty space. You are able to see and hear less than 1% of the electromagnetic spectrum. You will never be able to meet all the people or go to every city or hear every song or watch every movie or read every book or learn everything there is. So relax. What’s the point in being serious?

We all live in middle of ever expanding chaos but our greatness comes exactly through this.

Find LoveIn the midst of all that chaos we are able to Find Meaning to Our Life and live following it. That’s what Oscar Wilde meant with his quote.

You are never safe! Safety, like fear is just an illusion. Don’t be just a part of the chaos, try to find peace, joy and fun in the midst of it.

“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” – Oscar Wilde

Spirit PointsTHE CODE

<Don’t just survive, live your life>

5 Effective Exercises You Can Do Almost Anywhere

Exercising is an essential part of our wellbeing. It is crucial to exercise if you want to strengthen and improve your body. As a Life Coach I tell everyone to exercise and there is no excuse for not exercising. No matter where you are or what you have there are effective Exercises You Can Do Almost Anywhere, and when I say “almost” I mean 99%.

Of course, it is easier to find an excuse and this is because we see exercising as something we need to do.

Why don’t you fall in love with exercising? If anything exercising is on your side, it is The Tool that Builds and Improves Your Body so you can function better in The World around you. Stop giving excuses and start wanting to exercise. Learn how to do these exercises and you can exercise anywhere.

 

Sit-Ups Exercise

Sit Ups ExerciseThis exercise is mainly for our abs. It is the most famous ab exercise and I think there is no human that doesn’t know how this exercise is done. All you need to have is Gravity and a floor.

You start with lying on the floor with your knees slightly folded.

Start lifting your upper torso but only with the help of your abs. Feel the contraction in your abdominal muscles.

Continue until you are in a sited position and then you slowly get back to the lying position.

Do this without any help from your hands.

You can start with doing 10 repetitions in one set and work your way up.

Are You Too Strict With Your Children ? 15 Examples

Our children are our greatest treasure and sometimes, because we love them so much we make dangerous mistakes. One of the most dangerous mistakes is being too strict with your children.

By being too strict with our children we install fear in their minds; fear of expressing their uniqueness with the world and especially with the ones they trust the most – us, the parents.

I know it is easier to control your kid if you are strict, but in the long-term it will cause a lot more problems than reasoning with your child. It is hard to reason with a child but it is not impossible.

UNIMED LOCA敲O 0032

Understand that children don’t know the half of the things you are afraid of or the dangers of the world around them. They are full of wonder and they only know how to follow their soul’s purpose – their passion.

Fear doesn’t exist in their minds yet to limit their actions. That’s why they sometimes do foolish things.

You are there to prevent that from happening but not by making them afraid. No, instead use love to steer your kid towards safety.

Talk to Your KidExplain to your kid why the thing is dangerous and if it’s impossible for your kid to understand than steer his energy towards something as fun but a lot safer.

Just lower yourself on the child’s level and try to explain why you say the things you say. Make sure your arguments are not driven by fear but instead of love.

What is the difference between love and fear?

Strict Parents

Fear limits your reality between the dangers of the world; Love sets you free to explore the world despite the dangers – this is courage.

Fear forbids; Love gives; Fear tells what not to do; Love tells what you should do; Fear is The Dark Side of Love and only by going beyond fear we can get to the other side where love is.

Instead of screaming to your kid, ordering, or forbidding him/her to do something create positive energy through love and use that energy to create something your kid can do, something that it is fun but it is safer.

Sometimes it is necessary to be strict and that’s not bad. But always, after being strict with your kid, clean the air.

Do something fun, tell jokes, make your kid laugh and play with you. Being strict once in a while is not wrong as long as you reconnect with your kid on a level of love.

Here are 15 things you should carefully question yourself if you are doing any of them. If you recall a situation where you acted like any of the examples, approach your kid and try to reconnect with love.

 

1. You make too many rules

Eating healthy food, sleeping on time and cleaning their hands before they eat is more than fine. Addressing you with sir, while standing straight, is just egoism.

 

2. Your threats are over the top

“I won’t buy you chocolate if you don’t eat your dinner” is fine. “I’ll whoop you’re a** with this piece of wood” is enslavement.

 

3. Your rules overstep your parental boundaries

You telling your kid to knock before he/she opens the door of the bathroom or your bedroom is teaching good manners but if you don’t show those things through your behavior, that’s just hypocrisy.

 

4. Your love is conditional (or your words make it sound that way)

“I don’t love you if you don’t respect me” – This is what’s wrong with the world! You cannot put limits on love, and especially not on the love towards the most precious thing in your life. Respect doesn’t give love, and love doesn’t necessarily give respect.

 

5. You don’t watch your words

Your words penetrate your kid deeper than you think. Even if you don’t mean them they leave a scar in your child’s sub-consciousness.

 

6. You don’t put in time

Teach your children about things but don’t expect them to change overnight. Put time on your child’s development. Even a plant needs time to grow into a beautiful flower.

Why Do We Shout in Anger ?

One day, somewhere across the mountains of Tibet, a plane crashed. Only one man and one woman survived the crash. The man lost his voice.

Mountains SurvivingDays by days gone by and no one came to check if there were any survivors. There was little food and water from the other passengers.

After a couple of days the food was almost gone and the man was very weak. He didn’t want the woman to starve so he decided to search for food letting her eat the rest of it.

While he wandered around searching for food the man saw a group of Buddhist Monks walking near him.

Trying to shout for help he fell on his knees and started waving with his hands. His voice was completely gone.

Secret MonasteryOne of the Monks saw him. They took the man and the woman to the secret Buddhist Monastery where they lived.

A couple of days passed and the man was feeling better. He ate, he drank clean water, he washed himself under the waterfall but one thing stayed the same; he never got his speech back.

Having no one to return to, the man decided to stay at the Monastery. The woman wanted to leave but the Master of the monks told her that she cannot go alone.

“We go to the city every month. Wait 1 month and then you can go, if you leave now, alone, you will lose everything” he said.

She wanted to leave at first but when she remembered the horrors both her and the man faced when they were lost across the mountains she agreed to wait for one month.

“Alright, I’ll stay.” She said. “One more thing though. Why don’t you send someone to guide me along the road, now? I appreciate all you did for us but why do I have to wait a whole month?”

The Master“You don’t have to wait. But you will.” said The Master.

The woman didn’t understand what he meant. She didn’t want to cause any trouble or drama because of the respect she had for the people who saved them.

Both the woman and the man stayed. They were happy there. The place was peaceful, beautiful and there was more than enough food for everybody.

Through the time they spent there they grew very fond of each other. The woman loved the man but she was scared to tell him.

Whenever the man returned from teachings, she would prepare a delicious dinner. She told a lot of stories about her past, plans she had for her future. She was a very funny person, even she laughed at her own jokes.

The man would spend hours just listening to her and smiling. However, the man was unable to say even a word to her since he met her. He lost his voice after the crash.

As the days gone by, the woman ran out of things to say. Their conversation became smaller and smaller and in the last couple of days they would just sit and look at each other without saying a word.