5 Types of People You Should Avoid

Dejan
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5 Types of People You Should Avoid

The 5 people you surround yourself with determine who you are and where you will be in life.

If the people you spend your every day with are unambitious, miserable and apathetic, you won’t be any different. If they are happy, positive and motivated, you will also be.

We, as humans, we have tremendous capacity to adapt, to anything.

Environment, circumstances, people… we easily adapt to the things that surround us. It’s a great survival mechanism.

However, in today’s world you can choose who you surround yourself with. And most importantly, what types of people to avoid.

There are 5 types of people that can seriously damage the quality of your life if you keep hanging out with them.

Be kind to everyone, but be ruthless about who you surround yourself with. The effect these people have on you is real. So try to avoid these 5 types of people.

5 Types of People to Avoid:

types-of-people-you-should-avoid

1. The Cynic.

This is the person who believes in the worst of others. They will call themselves a realist, but in reality they are afraid to trust the world.

They believe that everyone is selfish and strongly doubt any sincere behavior. The cynic will always find ways to color something positive with darker shades.

A selfless act is always suspicious for them, carrying for someone has to have some hidden agendas, wanting to make the world a better place without anything to gain is ungraspable.

The cynic will always try to see the worst in people. But that’s not the main reason why you should stay away from them.

They have accepted the worst of people to be the norm in their reality, and if you are with them, they will try to suck you into their perspective, the one where humanity sucks, everyone lies, there are no good people…

They will discredit anything with a more positive note to it. They will call it childish or naive. It’s simply not allowed in their cynical reality. Do yourself a favor, get out of there.

2. The Hater.

Similar like The Cynic, but different in one very important thing. They don’t aim to see the worst in others, their main aim is to see the problem in anything.

Any kind of innovation, novelty and new idea will be met with hate. Every effort to solve a problem will have something wrong with it, in every solution the negative parts will be highlighted so they can prove it will not work.

The Haters will always hate. They will find problems for every solution.

They hate everything because they hate themselves. You don’t need such negativity in your life. Leave them in peace inside their own little negative world.

3. The Avoider.

Personally I hate these people. They are the ones who avoid taking any type of responsibility.

They will be the ones who avoid you instead of saying “sorry”.

The Avoider is a weak individual, one that is unable to face the consequences of their actions.

We are all human and we can all make a mistake. But these people are unable to take responsibility and make things right.

The slightly harder situations in life are too challenging for them, so they try to escape them. And they escape by avoiding.

And at the end, you end up chasing them to sort things out, even though it might not be your place to say “sorry”.

These people do not learn because it’s always someone else who cleans their mess. They do not take responsibility because they are used to avoiding. They keep making the same mistakes that you will have to apologize for later.

Do them a favor. Leave them alone. Let them face the consequences of their actions.

It will help them in the long term.

4. The Skeptic.

These people live in their own small box and according to them their reality is the only reality that’s real.

They cannot play with an opinion that’s different from theirs. They cannot open their mind to novel ideas.

According to them, they know the world. They will even act as if they know more than you, on any subject.

Anything that goes against their views, they will doubt it. Even if there is a solid proof, The Skeptic will invent other theories that confirm their world view.

There is nothing new with these people. They usually live in a boring routine. Do not waste your life with them.

5. The Egoist.

And finally, the person who believes that the world is orbiting around them.

These people believe that they are the most important humans. They think that everything they do is of crucial importance to the world.

Others are always beneath them.

They can pretend that they are happy about your achievements, but in their eyes these achievements are not important. You are not that important.

They lack real compassion and empathy. The Egoist has narcissistic and sociopathic tendencies. So stay away from them, they are not your real friends.

What You Should Remember?

There are certain people you should surround yourself with, and certain types of people you should avoid.

In any case, you should remain humane and be kind. Nothing wrong if you spend an hour with some of them.

However, if these are the types of people you hang out with every day, you will become one of them. A miserable excuse of a life.

Be ruthless who you hang out with.

Smiling Linked to Lower Stress Levels, Good Health and a Better Life

Dejan
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Smiling Linked to Lower Stress Levels, Good Health and a Better Life

Can the act of smiling make you happier? Yes, smiling, even if disingenuous, can make us feel better.

After combing through about five decades worth of research, scientists confirmed that the physical act of smiling can influence your actual feelings.

Researchers note that negative facial expressions such as a frown and scowl can lead to you feeling higher levels of sadness and anger. On the other hand, smiling is partly responsible for making you feel happier.

For centuries, scientists have studied nonverbal communication, i.e. facial expressions and emotions in the hope of understanding their impact on feelings in humans and even animals.

A number of studies indicate a strong relationship between happiness and low levels of stress, with greater overall well being and longer life.

Other studies reveal how facial expressions affect people around you, which can be negative or positive, as is the case with smiling.

What kind of smile you serve up determines what takes place in your body when you smile.

There are 3 Distinct Smile Types:

smiling-linked-to-lower-stress-levels

By sorting smiles into three distinct types: affiliative, dominance, and reward smiles, researchers can study the emotional reactions in our bodies in relation to our smiles.

1. Reward smiles.

Named the Duchenne smile after a researcher of facial expressions, this type of smile is the most authentic demonstration of joy and happiness.

You might offer a reward smile as a natural response to a joke or baby.

All the smile muscles work together for this type resulting in the telltale signs of a reward smile, an upturned mouth and exposed teeth, maybe even an eyebrow lift. These smiles have the greatest influence on your feelings.

2. Affiliative smiles.

This smile type conveys tolerance, acknowledgment, and connection with someone.

You might use an affiliative smile toward someone passing by you on the street or welcoming a peer.

It shows you are paying attention and not a threat.

Characteristics of affiliative smiles include a uniform upturn of the mouth, similar to that of reward smiles, yet with closed lips and no exposed teeth.

Although it requires fewer facial muscles than reward smiles, this smile still delivers happiness signals from your brain to the rest of your body.

3. Dominance smiles.

This smile can be misconstrued as a smirk and implies you are in charge but not a threat.

You might notice a bit of nose wrinkling with a dominant smile because it is a common smile as a display of disgust or contempt.

Although this smile lacks sincerity, it’s still a smile.

Your Body and Smiling:

Did you know humans have 43 facial muscles?

It takes a handful to smile; however, different smiles require different muscles.

Here’s what happens inside your body when you smile:

As you smile your brain is busy releasing molecules and hormones like endorphins and serotonin into your bloodstream.

The release of endorphins occurs any time you exercise, experience stress, or other moments that cause intense emotions, whether good or bad.

These natural painkillers work with serotonin which works as an antidepressant to bring you feelings of happiness and joy, allowing you to forget the stuff stressing you.

Additional research has shown that during stressful events, participants who were forced to smile, regardless of what they were feeling, still experienced fewer signs of stress and lower heart rates.

Further studies note that optimism may be key to a longer life. Optimistic people, who tend to smile more, have a reduced risk of health issues like heart attacks and have a greater chance of living past the age of 85.

4 Ways to Increase How Often You Smile:

Now that you know a bit about the science of smiling, you may want to smile as often as possible, even during your not so happiest moments. How do you do that? Here are a few ways:

1. Brighten and protect your teeth.

Having confidence in your smile can encourage you to smile more. Enhancing your smile with a home whitening kit is a good starting point.

2. Greet with a smile and eye contact.

Smile when greeting people, even if the situation warrants an affiliative or dominance smile. Avoid too much eye contact and over smiling as your behavior could be misunderstood and considered weird.

3. Smile, even when no one’s around.

Who says you need someone else to smile at. Anytime you are alone feeling down, smile and think positive thoughts.

4. Offer a smile, not a scowl.

If you find yourself in an unfriendly encounter, like someone cutting in front of you while standing in line, instead of reacting negatively with a scowl or frown, smile, because after all, a smile is contagious, and your grin may diffuse the situation rather than escalate it.

4 Things To Know About Data Protection In The Time Of Pandemic

Dejan
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4 Things To Know About Data Protection In The Time Of Pandemic

The outbreak of the coronavirus pandemic has seen businesses get into unprecedented times.

Cyberthreats have escalated, which has caused organizations to step up their efforts in ensuring the protection of private information.

In particular, the health sector has had to rethink and reevaluate the modalities of protecting information concerning the coronavirus patients from disclosure.

The use of tracking systems and requirements for the social distancing of individuals with the virus has changed how patients’ information should be handled to protect others from the highly infectious virus.

Even as this information is revealed to people, especially those close to an infected person, it must be done within the confines set by government regulations and other policies such as the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996 (HIPAA).

It’s a requirement that every health facility exercises HIPAA compliance when dealing with patients’ data.

There are essential things concerning data privacy and protection during the pandemic period that you need to be aware of.

4 Things To Know About Data Protection In The Pandemic:

things-to-know-about-data-protection-in-pandemic

1. Revealing Individuals Infected With The Virus.

When it comes to individuals who’ve contracted the coronavirus, data protection regulations don’t deny businesses and organizations from disclosing potential cases to their workers.

Doing this is still within patient information privacy protocols.

The reason for this is organizations have to assume the responsibility of protecting their workers from contracting the disease.

Another driving factor for disclosing this information is the public interest to protect nations from the cross border transfer of the pandemic threat.

As a result, it’s not mandatory for healthcare facilities to seek consent from a patient before revealing there’s a positive case.

However, only the necessary data should be revealed to colleagues within an organization. The name of the infected individual might be withheld, even though it has to be disclosed in some cases, especially to individuals within the same department with a patient.

In particular, this step is essential in facilitating contact tracing for people who came into close proximity with the patient.

Besides, this process is done according to merit and not for all cases.

Furthermore, the person who’s been diagnosed to be positive is first notified before disclosure, mostly verbatim with high discouragement to do it in writing. This is to reduce the recording of health information which demands data protection.

2. Collecting Vaccination Information.

Even though it’s not a requirement for individuals to reveal their vaccination status to their employers, organizations are allowed to do so when there’s an important reason.

However, it shouldn’t be mandatory across organizations to collect this information except when there’s a specific need.

More so, they should limit the amount of information they collect to the purpose and not beyond.

Such organizations might be required to prove that their reasons for collecting vaccination information regarding their employees are substantial.

Additionally, it’s a requirement for organizations to ensure that this data is secured and processed within legal parameters.

Vaccination status is part of health information which is also governed by regulations.

However, organizations should use professional health care personnel while processing the data and inform the owners that their information will remain protected except for specific instances.

3. Workplace Testing.

Since many organizations are resuming office work, they also carry out coronavirus testing on their staff or visitors.

However, collecting this information need to be done lawfully and processed within legal boundaries.

Besides, an organization ought to demonstrate a concrete basis according to the law for carrying out the exercise.

Additionally, before any organization starts testing their employees, workers should be informed beforehand, including the reasons behind the testing.

They should also be informed how their personal data will be handled.

Furthermore, an analysis of the impact of the testing needs to be done to determine the risks involved and institute measures for mitigating them.

4. Surveillance And Contact Tracing.

If an organization chooses to collect coronavirus data for purposes of contact tracing, bear in mind that there are no legal provisions for them to do so, they have to come from legitimate interests.

In some nations, businesses are supposed to meet the following requirements when collecting data for contact tracing:

Be open to why they’re collecting such information.

Keep away from using that information for direct marketing, analytics, or profiling.

Protect the data well.

Only ask for information that’s needed.

What You Should Remember?

During the coronavirus pandemic, patient information concerning employees had to be reimagined.

The desire to ensure that everyone is protected from potential virus carriers within an organization is a priority, but disclosing such information should only be done to people close to the infected person.

The disclosure of this data helps relevant governments or organizations to carry out contact tracing.

Moreover, all these processes must be done within the laid down regulations pertaining to the handling and processing of private data.

4 Tips for Caring for Elderly Parents to Make Your Life Easier

Dejan
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4 Tips for Caring for Elderly Parents to Make Your Life Easier

Aging is a natural part of life. And as painful as it can be to watch your parents get older, that’s just part of what happens.

The best thing you can do is step in and provide care until a professional healthcare provider is needed.

Research from the National Alliance for Caregiving and Evercare shows that more than 65 million Americans provide care for a disabled, chronically ill, or aged family member on an ongoing basis.

These individuals spend an average of 20 hours per week providing care. Approximately 66 percent of family caregivers are women, while the typical caregiver is a 49 year old woman caring for a 69 year old widowed mother.

If you’re one of the millions of Americans caring for an elderly parent, here are several tips you can use to ease some of the burdens you face.

4 Tips for Caring for Elderly Parents:

tips-for-caring-for-elderly

1. Know When to Step In.

The first step is to know when to step in and help.

Doing so prematurely could send the wrong signal to your parents and make them feel like you’re encroaching on their freedoms. Doing so too late could lead to unnecessary and potentially dangerous outcomes.

How do you know when to step in?

It starts with being aware of your parent’s daily routines so that you can notice when there are changes in behaviors or habits.

This is usually the first sign that some sort of help is needed. For example, if your parent always has a Wednesday lunch with a friend but suddenly misses three or four weeks in a row to stay home, this could be an early sign that something is going on.

Ultimately, the more involved you are in your parent’s life, the easier it is to detect sudden changes that take place.

2. Establish Boundaries.

If you’re going to commit to providing care for your aging parent, you have to begin by setting the proper expectations.

There have to be boundaries and rules in place, otherwise your relationship could take an unhealthy turn at a time when you both need each other.

First off, explain that you want to help. However, be upfront about some of the obligations and non negotiable responsibilities you have in your own life.

If, for example, you have your own young children at home, they have to be a primary responsibility as well. Communicate this to other loved ones so that everyone is on the same page.

It’s also necessary to set boundaries in terms of when you’ll consider putting your parent in a care facility, if you are ever. Setting specific criteria upfront makes it easier to make these decisions when circumstances warrant it.

3. Get Financial Assistance When Possible.

Caring for an aging parent can be expensive, both in terms of the time and financial cost associated with it.

That’s why we highly recommend pursuing any and all financial assistance options that are available to you in your state.

In New York, for example, the Medicaid-funded CDPAP program allows residents to hire their own caregivers, including adult children, relatives, and friends.

This could potentially allow you to get paid for providing the care you’re already offering. It won’t be enough to support a full time salary, but it can make circumstances more manageable.

4. Spread Out Responsibilities.

If you have other siblings and family members, they should shoulder this burden with you. However, they might not step up and volunteer until you assign them some responsibility.

It doesn’t matter where your siblings live, they can always help.

For example, a sibling who lives 500 miles away can’t visit every week and take your parent to doctor’s appointments. They can, however, handle administrative tasks, stay on top of medical bills, and tend to financial needs.

Spread out responsibilities in a way that makes sense for everyone.

Whether local or not, there are always ways for family to help. It’s up to you to speak up and let various needs be known.

What You Should Remember?

It’s important to remember that you don’t have to shoulder this burden alone.

You were never made to be anyone else’s hero or savior.

You’re one person, and you have finite love and energy to give.

We’re giving you permission to relieve yourself of the pressure to do it all.

Step in where you can and find alternative resources to cover the aspects of your life where you can’t.

All You Need to Know About What Is HGH and How It Affects Your Body?

Dejan
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All You Need to Know About What Is HGH and How It Affects Your Body?

Have you heard the term “HGH” being thrown around when it comes to your body and health and you’re unsure of what it is?

Perhaps you’ve heard of HGH therapy and are wondering what that does and if it’s something that could benefit you?

For those who aren’t aware, HGH is short for a Human Growth Hormone, that is something that your body makes on its own and aids your overall well being in several ways.

Let’s peel back the layers and take a deeper dive into what HGH is and how specifically it affects your body.

All You Need to Know About HGH:

what-is-hgh-and-how-it-affects-your-body

What Is HGH?

As mentioned, HGH stands for human growth hormone, which like so many other hormones in your body is naturally occurring and produced by your body on its own.

It is produced by the pituitary gland and its main purpose is to speed up healing in your body after an injury has occurred.

It also speeds up the muscle tissue repairing process, which is needed after an intense workout.

Think about a time in the past when you have had a great workout, only to find yourself sore and stiff for the next couple of days.

This is when HGH can come in handy, repairing the muscle tissue to allow you to get back to being active that much faster.

The secondary effect of HGH is that it also helps you to burn fat.

It can speed up your metabolism and even help you to build muscle mass.

Some research is also being done at the moment to see how it can potentially offer anti aging benefits, in particular the early signs of aging of the skin.

What Is Natural HGH Therapy?

So that brings us to natural HGH therapy.

Natural HGH therapy is designed to stimulate the pituitary gland and is an alternative to the more traditional HGH therapy which involves injectables and tends to be very expensive.

As well, for those relying on HGH therapy regularly, there is the risk that your body will stop HGH production eventually, which is something you don’t want to take chances with.

Natural HGH therapy targets the amino acid chains that are responsible for stimulating the pituitary gland so that your body gets all the benefits naturally.

Some of the compounds and therapies being used today in natural HGH therapy include GHRP 6, GHRP 2, Sermorelin and Ipamorelin.

Other Risk Factors with HGH Therapy?

Expanding on the injectable HGH therapy, there are other risk factors involved.

Because it has to be injected subcutaneously or intramuscularly, injury can occur.

There is also a risk of the hormone not being a high quality or pure form of HGH depending on where you get it.

Besides the fact your body may stop naturally producing HGH if you overuse the injections, you also risk:

1. Tingling or numbness of the skin.

2. Muscle, joint or nerve pain.

3. Edema or fluid retention.

4. High blood sugar.

5. High cholesterol.

Who Is Natural HGH Therapy Best For?

So who would benefit the most from natural HGH therapy?

It’s a pretty broad group thanks to the benefits.

If you’re someone who has trouble sleeping, suffers from mild mood swings, wants to increase muscle growth, wants to increase endurance when exercising, would like to see more body fat lost, would be interested in anti aging benefits and would like a potential boost to the immune system, then natural HGH therapy could be a great option.

It’s important to keep in mind that each individual is unique, so the results of HGH therapy will differ, but it could be worth investigating further.

We strongly advise that for any choice regarding your health you first consult with your doctor.

The 6 Best Foods and Drinks for Boosting Brainpower

Dejan
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The 6 Best Foods and Drinks for Boosting Brainpower

Who doesn’t want a brain boost from time to time?

We’ve all felt a little sluggish or had trouble concentrating occasionally.

It’s perfectly normal, and as we age, or when we’re struggling with other health issues or low mood, these periods can become extended, and have a negative effect on our day to day life.

There are plenty of things that you can do to boost your brainpower, both in the short term with a quick pick me up, and in the long term, making changes that can help you to avoid the effects of aging, and stay mentally sharp whatever else is going on it your life.

Things like challenging your brain with reading, puzzles, and learning new things can have a great effect on your brainpower, giving it a workout to push it to its limits.

Exercising, getting fresh air and lots of sleep, and even what you eat and drink can also boost your mind.

Here’s a look at six of the things that you could add to your diet which could help you to feel sharper, more focused, and more alert.

6 Best Foods and Drinks for Brainpower:

best-foods-and-drinks-for-boosting-brainpower

1. Coffee.

There have always been plenty of arguments about how good for us caffeine is.

Yes, coffee tastes nice. Yes, it certainly helps you to feel more alert. However, some people worry that it can be addictive, and have a negative effect on their mood.

By understanding the effects of caffeine, we start to see that there’s much more to it than that.

In moderation, coffee can help you to feel alert, boost your brainpower, and even help to regulate your internal clock, making sleep easier.

If you don’t like coffee, the caffeine in tea can have similar effects.

2. Leafy Greens.

Leafy green vegetables like cabbage, kale, and spinach are rich in nutrients like vitamin K and folate which can slow cognitive decline and improve brainpower.

Try to eat a portion of leafy greens every day.

3. Fatty Fish.

Fatty fish such as canned tuna, cod, and salmon, contain high levels of omega 3 fatty acids.

Having higher levels of these acids is great because around 60% of your brain is made up of fats, so it needs replenishing to work at its best.

Eating more omega 3 fatty acids has been linked to lower levels of beta amyloid in the blood.

This can decrease the risks of cognitive decay as we age, and also reduce the chances of developing Alzheimer’s and other kinds of dementia.

On the other hand, lower levels of omega 3 fatty acids have been linked to learning difficulties and mental health issues.

4. Berries.

Berries such as strawberries and blueberries contain a lot of flavonoids, which give them their bright colors.

Research shows that flavonoids can improve memory.

If you struggle to eat two servings of berries a week, consider drinking them in a breakfast smoothie instead.

5. Walnuts.

Most nuts are excellent sources of protein and healthy fats which, like fatty fish, can prevent mental decline, boost memory, and improve brainpower.

Walnuts contain especially high levels.

6. Turmeric.

The active ingredient in turmeric is called curcumin.

Curcumin is an anti oxidant with a huge range of benefits. These include boosting memory, increasing concentration, and helping new brain cells to grow.

We typically eat turmeric in curries and other spicy dishes, and while it’s easy to add extra to your food, the research into its brain boosting powers has typically used much higher quantities than you would see in food.

This means that taking a supplement can be more effective.

What You Should Remember?

Boosting your brainpower with food and drink, sleep, exercise, and mental workouts can help you to focus in the short term, but it can do much more than that, care for your brain now, and you could stay sharper and mentally fitter for a lot longer.

Are Tofu And Veggie Burgers A Good Source Of Protein or Not?

Dejan
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Are Tofu And Veggie Burgers A Good Source Of Protein or Not?

There are so many vegetarian burgers, from tofu to zucchini, that defining what constitutes a veggie burger can be difficult.

A veggie burger does not contain any beef. Instead, any plant based food, including grains, beans, soy, and of course, vegetables, can be used to make vegetarian burgers.

Plant based burgers have a wide range of nutritional value due to the variety of ingredients used.

Your homemade tofu, black bean, and quinoa patty will undoubtedly be high in fiber, plant based protein, and minerals.

While vegetarian burgers are from a wide array of the plant based ingredient list, those purchased at a restaurant or supermarket may be overly processed and high in sodium.

The good news is that vegetarian burgers contain a lot of protein and vitamins.

The protein in these newer plant based burgers is comparable gram for gram with beef and poultry. They are both high in protein, with the former made primarily of soy and the latter primarily of peas and mung beans.

Are Tofu And Veggie Burgers Good?

tofu-and-veggie-burgers-a-good-source-of-protein-or-not

Carbs

In contrast to animal burgers, the majority of vegetarian burgers contain carbohydrates.

Because they are derived from beans, whole grains, and vegetables, these are frequently complex carbs that take longer to digest.

Some carbs in an adequately prepared veggie burger may come from added sugars, depending on the recipe.

Fats

Vegetable burgers are low in fat, but they require a binding agent, such as oil, to keep their shape. As a result, a single vegetarian patty has very little fat, about 4.4 grams.

Protein

Veggie burgers are lower in protein than beef burgers.

This is not to say that they do not count toward your daily total.

The soy based veggie patty contains 22% of the daily value recommended by the USFDA, with 11 grams of protein.

4 Benefits in Terms of Health:

In addition to being a delicious and varied meat substitute, veggie burgers have these several health benefits.

1. Insulin Resistance Can Be Improved.

Insulin resistance is a significant factor in the development of type 2 diabetes. Fortunately, the foods you eat can influence your body’s ability to respond to insulin. Following a 16 week experiment, researchers discovered that adopting a plant based diet reduced insulin resistance in 75 overweight adults.

2. Enhances Digestive Health.

A single soy based veggie burger contains 3.4 grams of fiber, which helps women meet their daily fiber goal of 25 grams and men meet their daily fiber goal of 38 grams. Bean based veggie burgers may contain even more fiber. Constipation can be relieved, and bowel movements can be controlled with a high fiber diet.

3. Could Help You Lose Weight.

Instead of red meat, choose plant protein in a vegetarian burger to aid in weight loss. A vegan diet has been proved in research to be an excellent technique of weight loss and obesity prevention.

4. It Could Aid in Cholesterol Reduction.

Studies found that people who ate a plant based diet had significantly lower cholesterol levels.

What You Should Remember?

Plant based burgers contain vitamins and minerals found in animal proteins, including vitamin B12 and zinc, in concentrations equivalent to (and in some cases exceeding) those found in red meat and poultry.

This is advantageous for vegetarians, as these nutrients are frequently scarce when consuming just plant based diets.

Because vitamin B12 is predominantly derived from animal sources, staunch vegetarians and vegans must supplement their diets with fortified foods.

Phytic acid of the plant compounds binds to minerals, resulting in a 50% increase in zinc requirements and probably a twofold rise in iron requirements.

For persons who consume at least some animal protein, vitamin and mineral fortification are fewer selling points.

The 5 Ingredients You Need to Build Your Leadership Skills (Part 4)

Roxana Radulescu
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The 5 Ingredients You Need to Build Your Leadership Skills (Part 4)

So far, we’ve been talking about leadership ingredients such as: vision, communication (listening) and feedback.

[If you haven’t read about them go and get up to date with this one: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3.]

Time to look at the fourth ingredient today: Influence!

Now, I will start with this: you can only influence as much as you let yourself be influenced by others!

Yes, I know, maybe it seems counter intuitive, but here’s why it’s not.

The 5 Ingredients for Leadership:
Ingredient 4 – Be Influenced So You Can Influence!

ingredients-to-build-your-leadership-skills-part-4

1. Let yourself be influenced.

First off, as a leader, you need data that helps you make well-informed decisions. If you want to influence on a larger scale, that is.

What’s the best way to get that data?

Well, check with your team!

They are there because they are ALL leaders in what it is they’re responsible for.

We expect that they take accountability and responsibility for their actions and results.

So then why not include them in the conversation when making decisions that affect them?

And what’s the best way to get that data? Well, learn how to listen, get the feedback and then decide what to do with it!

It’s funny, isn’t it, how, when we talk about feedback, we typically have this preconceived image of someone, usually ‘the boss’, coming and telling us we’ve done something wrong. They say it and leave it with us. And that’s it. End of conversation.

First of all, that’s not a conversation. That’s a monologue, a criticism, a line. And it certainly is not feedback.

Feedback is a dialogue. One that takes time to give and discuss. If it doesn’t take time, it’s a waste of energy, because it leads to no result.

Now, the question is, how can you make it a dialogue?

6 Steps to Receiving Feedback as a Leader:

1. Focus.

This is the hardest part, and it’s right at the beginning!

We need to learn how to listen, so you might want to revisit the article on listening now.

This means no interruptions. No escaping into defensive strategy building.. just concentrate on what is being said.

2. Reflect back: summarize and paraphrase.

Summarize key messages to demonstrate you have got the intended messages and that you are listening.

Their views are valid, even if you do not think that they are correct.

You’re looking at the same thing from two different standpoints!

3. Explore: ask, don’t assume!

You may not agree with what you hear, that’s ok, we’re not supposed to agree with everything and everyone!

Knowing this, you can simply focus on wanting to understand what is being said and why this person is reacting in this way.

Stay calm (breathing always helps), show interest and seek examples to clarify.

Ask for more information. Ask questions to find out more about the topic and, whilst they are at it, more about any other topic too.

In this part, you’ll say ‘So’ a lot!

4. Express your observations, concerns, assumptions.

Now is a good time to use some of the techniques for giving feedback.

Remember how we talked about giving negative feedback and include feelings? That’s it.

When receiving feedback, we need to express our observations, concerns, assumptions, ideas AND feelings.  

Keeping it all bottled up never helped anyone, under any circumstance.

At some point, the bubble can only burst.

Express yourselves without being defensive or aggressive. Express your honest reactions from a place of observation and care.

5. Say ‘thank you’!

They took the time to observe and think about how they express their observations. That’s one definition of caring.

It takes a lot of courage for anyone to come forward and give negative feedback, knowing that we’re not going to like what we hear, knowing that them, as ‘feedbackers’, might end up being misunderstood, judged, criticized.

Talking to each other from this place of caring about what is going to happen next always helps.

Acknowledging and respecting each other’s effort in both giving and receiving feedback, that takes that dialogue to a whole new level! A level where collaboration starts and creativity sparks. A level that takes us to the 6th step below.

6. Decide or agree on the next steps.

Now that we agree on what the issues and concerns are, we can decide on the solutions.

Feedback discussions need to be solution oriented. Anything less is not feedback.

So make your list of solutions you agreed on and decide how and when you are going to implement them.

2. Expand your own circle of influence.

Now, with all the data you have available, you’re ready to expand your own circle of influence!

Knowledge might have been power, but in the information age, shared knowledge is the real power!

When people feel heard and understood, they will be more ready to listen to and understand you. Now they’re ready to contribute. Now that they feel included in the conversation, they will feel more motivated.

So, what do you need to focus on now?

1. Work on your leadership presence, verbal and non verbal.

Remember, we will always believe what we see over what we hear!

When you think about your capacity to expand that circle of influence, make sure that you pay attention to HOW you say what you say.

Make sure you work on your leadership presence: understand how you convey your messages, notice how they are received, ask for feedback and then choose to work on the things that don’t work in your favor.

Imagine a case scenario where you’re saying something like: ‘I am so excited about this idea that you had’, but your body language will ‘communicate’ the opposite.

What do you think will happen? The other person will most likely believe those non verbal cues over the verbal ones.

Here are some questions that help you work on your presence more:

What does your body language convey when you talk to your team, or to your clients?

What’s your tone of voice?

How might the others interpret the message based on your non-verbal cues?

What is your communication style? How is it different from your audience’s style?

What would they need to hear from you? What would they not?

2. Be curious instead of needlessly authoritarian (aka defensive)!

A common example is that, when we’re passionately presenting an idea that we believe in and the others will have objections to it, we become defensive.

Approach that situation with curiosity rather than defensiveness and you’ll see some tables turning!

Some leaders fear that they need to have all the answers or otherwise that’s a sign of weakness. Nothing further from the truth!

Power is a two way street!

Are you really a leader if you have no ‘real’ followers? If they’re only following you because they have to?

And are you an authentic and rational leader if you’re not ready to follow the experts in your team when they are taking the helm? What does that say about your decision, as a leader, to hire them in the first place?

For more tips on how to boost your team leadership skills muscles, check out the All Personal online courses and live workshops here: https://allpersonallearning.thinkific.com

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