Why Do Mentally Strong People Never Succumb To Self Pity

Attitude

September 1, 2018

One of the factors that make people mentally strong is their ability to keep a healthy confidence at any odd that comes their way.

They’re not without fear, but they know how to face their fear. They have a place within from where they find inner confidence even in the midst of the most dreadful situation.

This is where mentally strong people differ from the rest of us. They’re able to detect the things that lower their self esteem and beat them before they weaken them.

While interviewing 10 mentally strong people, researchers found that they shared one similar perspective, self pity destroys one’s life.

Self pity could be downright the most self destructive habit, making the person powerless to overcome even the smallest obstacles that loom over their way.

Mentally strong people are keenly aware when self pity is about to arise. So, they prevent it immediately because they know it means to lose even before the real battle begins.

Here is how self pity harms your character and takes away your power without you even knowing it’s not working for you, but against you.

3 Reasons Why Mentally Strong People Don’t Succumb To Self Pity:

1. Self pity encourages a build up of negativity.

Life is a cycle of losses and winnings. You learn from the losses and you gain confidence from the winnings.

If you can’t see things this way, you may end up believing that life is a battle that should be always won. And when you don’t win, you may believe something is wrong with you.

Failing to recognize this thought process can harm your self worth and could cause your well functioning world to crumble.

This can be the greatest reason why some people succumb to self pity. As they host a self pity party, negativity starts to build up.

Feelings of low self worth can lower your energetic vibration. When others sense your lower vibration, they start to stay away from you, leaving you more isolated.

2. Self pity destroys productivity.

The moment self pity destroys your worth, your productivity naturally gets affected. Being in this state will most likely make anyone apathetic.

This may create problems in your workplace, which you may be bringing into your home and spreading with your close friends.

The worst thing is that you will lack the motivation and productivity to do something about your problems.

It puts you in a negative momentum that leads to being more apathetic, this creates more self pity and that destroys your productivity even more.

The best way to escape this cycle is to prevent self pity before it settles. However, the second best is to stop it. Take responsibility and force yourself to take action.

3. Self pity prevents opportunities for learning.

Mistakes can be used in your advantage, that is where you see opportunities for learning and growth. Indulging in self pity prevents you from seeing mistakes this way.

Instead, you’re likely to blame people for the hardships and difficulties that you may have faced when you indulge in self pity.

Mentally strong people always see the bright side of life’s difficulties even if they feel down at times.

They feel their pain then move on from there to look for the space that allows them to grow.

Being mentally strong is not about not making any mistakes, it’s about facing mistakes and using mistakes in your own advantage. There is no need for self pity in anything they do.

5 Aretha Franklin Quotes That Will Leave A Mark On Your Heart

Lessons

Nezel Padayhag

August 31, 2018

America’s Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin, passed away on the 16th of August at the age of 76.

Franklin might have been destined to touch us with her music because, as a child, she was already a gospel singer.

She formally started her professional journey in the music industry after she signed up to Atlantic Records in 1967.

Some of her most famous soul stirring songs include “Respect”, “You Make Me Feel Like A Natural Woman”, “Spanish Harlem”, and “Think”.

Aretha Franklin not only left us with her soulful music that is bound to live on forever, but also with her fruits of wisdom that are sure to touch our hearts.

5 Aretha Franklin Quotes:

1. “We all require and want respect, man or woman, black or white. It’s our basic right.”

This quote is clearly expressed in Aretha Franklin’s most iconic song “Respect” where she earned two Grammy Awards in 1968. This song also inspired the Women’s Rights movement that they made it their anthem.

As the song implies, you need to demand respect from others. You need to ask for it because they might have forgotten that it is your basic right.

And if others can’t give it to you, you need to be bold enough to walk away. You deserve way better than that.

2. “You cannot define a person in just one thing. You can’t just forget all these wonderful and good things that a person has done because one thing didn’t come off the way you thought it should come off.

Aretha Franklin’s music also suggests acceptance of others despite their imperfections. Just because people commit mistakes, the good deeds they have done will no longer matter.

Every single one of us is trying to live the best life that we can, but there are just days that we slip.

When someone disappoints you for not doing what you expect them to, try to look at their good deeds. This way, it’s easier for you to forgive them and give them another chance.

3. “Sometimes, what you’re looking for is already there.”

Like Aretha Franklin, anybody wanting to live their life purpose doesn’t need to look it outside of themselves because it’s already within.

Aretha’s natural talents changed people’s lives because she looked for the answers inside of her.

You can ask for people’s opinions or guidance, but the inspiration and the true answers that you’re looking for to create a spark in your soul is already within you.

4. “Who hasn’t had a weight issue? If not the body, certainly the big head.”

Literally, Aretha had a weight issue that caused her health problems. Being overweight is not something to overlook if it’s causing health issues.

But, she is quite right, it’s much better to have a big weight than a big head. Not all people with a little extra weight are harmed like people who have extra weight on their ego.

A heavy ego will not just give you a negative outlook on life, but it will make your life miserable playing a game against yourself. Humility is a virtue Aretha Franklin maintained.

5. “People really don’t have to give you anything, so appreciate what people give you.”

Give value to the things that others give you regardless of how simple they might be. Learn to appreciate small good deeds because people don’t owe you anything in the first place.

It might be better to give than to receive but to receive with gratefulness and appreciation delights the giver more.

When you receive with a grateful heart, you will give back something more valuable. Giving things of value makes your life more valuable. And it’s how Franklin lived hers.

Centenarian Villagers From A Small Village Share 5 Secrets To Their Longevity

Activities

Nezel Padayhag

August 30, 2018

Nowadays, humanity’s lifespan is the longest that has ever been in known human history. However, due to unhealthy choices, longer life poses a great challenge for many.

With poor choices of food, stressful lifestyle, polluted surroundings, we shouldn’t wonder why people live shorter and suffer poor health, even though science is more advanced.

The best people to provide us with the right kind of information that we want, when it comes to longevity, are those who have lived healthier and longer lives themselves.

Such people can be found in a village in Italy called Acciaroli. This place does not only boasts with its stunning seaside beauty but also its centenarian villagers.

There are around 2,000 centenarians, out of a population of 60,000, in the region of Cilento where Acciaroli is based, while a large number are in their 80’s and 90’s.

What’s more amazing is that most of them lived healthily without suffering from any age related conditions. Only a few of them develop heart disease or dementia.

Researchers found that people in the area have unusually good blood circulation and remarkably low levels of a hormone called adrenomedullin.

High levels of the hormone impede blood circulation and lead to serious health problems, but the elderly residents had levels as seen in people in their twenties and thirties.

The scientists at Rome Sapienza University and the San Diego School of Medicine joined forces in unlocking the villagers’ secret to longevity.

5 Wise Secrets To Longevity By Centenarian Villagers:

1. Give your body what it’s good for it daily.

This advice looks pretty simple, however, most people do not follow it. The centenarians point out that a healthy diet was one of the things that contributed to their longevity. Most of them follow regular meal patterns and a Mediterranean diet that consists mostly of fish, fresh fruits, vegetables, healthy fats and some carbohydrates. Eating moderately, organically and naturally is good to keep in mind whatever diet you are on.

2. Live an old fashioned life.

Other centenarians pointed out that their old fashioned lifestyle was what helped them stay younger and live longer. Many of them raise their own animals to eat, grow their own vegetables, and spend time fishing for food. Their village even produces its own olive oil. There is something in this connection with their own produce that keeps them healthy. The simplicity and belonging the old fashioned lifestyle gives has some magic in it.

3. Spend energy to get energy.

The San Diego cardiologist Alan S. Maisel, who spearheaded the study, observed that everyone in the village did something active each day. Those who are able, walked a couple of miles a day. Moving your body might momentarily take energy and burn calories, but it gives more life and vitality. Stay active every single day. Move, exercise, dance, walk, whatever your style is, just keep moving, stay active.

4. Embrace hardships to be tougher.

Antonio, one of the centenarians, reminisced that when he was a young boy, they had to deal with the hardships because their village was cut off from the rest of the world. They had no running water or even electricity for many decades. It’s then theorized that only those who were strong survived those times and they’re the ones alive today. Hardships are experienced by everyone, but those who embrace them grow stronger from them.

5. Relax nothing is under control.

In Ikaria, which is another rocky island in the Aegean Sea, inhabitants credited their long lives to living an easy going lifestyle. This involves taking naps, being stress free, drinking goat milk, and wine. They have close communities where they gather regularly to spend time with friends and people they care about, even at old age. The number of friends is not important as long as they are close friends. Find ways to laugh more every single day.

Indeed, there is no magic formula for living a healthy and long life. As long as your daily routine revolves around eating healthy food, living a simple and stress free life, and getting active, you’re doing your part to live into a ripe old age.

The 7 Traits All Fake Friends Have In Common

Attitude

Dejan

August 29, 2018

Friendships are one of the best things in life. They are literally midway between a sibling relationship and a romantic one. They embody the qualities of both.

As a matter of fact, you say things like “my brother is my best friend” or “my husband is my best friend”, to show what the bond means to you.

But like everything in life, there are exceptions. In this case, fake friends. You might think who would want to hang out with them but they are not easily noticed.

There are however, some things in common among most if not all fake friends. They all share the same behaviors.

So, here are the 7 traits that these fake friends will show. If you find more than two of these traits in someone, they are not your real friend.

The 7 Traits All Fake Friends Show:

1. They try to change the person you are.

These fake people would try to mould you into something you are not, just because it suits their purpose. They don’t care about who you are, they don’t care to help you flourish and become the best version of you, they want you to be the best version for them.

2. They are jealous.

All of us are envious sometime. But envy is not bad, it let’s us know what our heart desires. Jealousy however, is what jealousy mutates if you don’t take action to hear what you desire and blame the other person for having what they have. Jealousy is destructive, it is the state of rather both of you having nothing than just the other person having what you want. Fake friends are jealous and all they want from you is your success. Or, they are there for some personal benefit. whatever the case, they will use you to get what you have, or make you don’t have what they secretly desire.

3. They take it all out on you when they want.

All their frustration and all their rage, they take out on you. You are their scapegoat. Besides, they just walk over you when it suits them, and they lick your feet when they need something from you. These guys are the worst.

4. They will lash out when you give them feedback.

When you call them out on their flaws and give them constructive feedback they will lash out at you like you are attacking them. This is because they are silently competing with you meaning they would rather want to be better than you, than be your real friends. They can’t even grasp how someone can give them feedback to see them improve. They think you are attacking them.

5. They do not celebrate when you succeed.

Because they are jealous, fake friends will bitterly smile when you succeed to hide their true emotions. Your success stings them like they are harmed by it. They see you as an enemy who won a territory. Fake friends will not celebrate your victories because they see them as their losses. They can hide it, and they can hide it really good, but because they are burning with jealousy they can not be truly happy about your successes.

6. They demand a lot, but never give back the same.

This is because they want to see themselves as superior to you. They want to be served by you. Even if it is the smallest amount, they want to give less than you. Real friends do not even keep track because they give as they feel, their love for you makes them give unconditionally. Fake friends will try to be in a position of demanding, not serving.

7. They will reflect their blame upon you.

Fake friends hate when their secret agenda is revealed because even they don’t really know how bad of a person they are. So if you call them out on their fakeness they will act as if you are a bad friend. They will try to reflect their blame upon you and nitpick all the little moments you might have did something wrong. They might even call you out on personal problems they have nothing to do with and call you out on your flaws. They will try to appear as they are the punching bag that despite all your flaws choose to be your friend. They will do everything but try to accept their fake friendship.

The 3 Things A Healthy Relationship Must Have To Thrive

Attitude

Dejan

August 28, 2018

What happens when you stop nurturing a relationship with care and attention?

It gradually begins to recede into the background until it dies.

Hence it is essential to evaluate your relationship every now and then to see if you are getting too comfortable in its banality.

If yes, then maybe it’s time to rekindle the spirit of love again.

These are the 3 things a relationship must have in order to be healthy and thrive.

The 3 Things Thriving Relationships Must Have:

1. Observe, question and discuss.

It’s very important for people in a relationship to observe the changes in them and their partners. If you suspect any change in mood or behavior, ask questions. Sometimes just discussing things with your partner, or answering their queries, helps you organize your feelings better. Asking questions and discussing opinions will make your bond stronger. Look for the solutions together and help each other organize your thoughts. It will certainly make you feel more relaxed sharing the emotional burden equally.

2. Random romantic acts of love.

Small gestures of love spontaneously placed around the house are always a delight. Slip a love note expressing your affection and gratitude for who they are. Stick a funny note on the fridge expressing your love for them. Do your partner’s chore for a change. You could get up 10 minutes in advance and make a delicious breakfast for them. Show up in their office with a present. Be their secret admirer. Small romantic gestures are the things that make the biggest difference in keeping the love alive and the relationship thriving.

3. Quality time for each other.

Mostly we’re so busy in our daily schedule that we rush to work without even sharing some morning time with our partner. But if you think about it, what’s the point of success if you don’t spend quality time with the people you love. If you can’t be just a couple of minutes late, wake up earlier just to cuddle your partner. It’ll be your most special moment of the day. Spend time together, go on trips, cook, start a mutual project both of you are passionate about, learn something new, play games, go to the cinema, help each other out with something, it will help you grow together individually, and as a couple.

The 6 Mental Strength Myths We All Need To Forget

Attitude

Dejan

August 27, 2018

Mental strength is one of the most misunderstood and misinterpreted concepts.

We expect a person with great mental strength to remain strong and unaffected at all times which isn’t fair.

It’s essential for some us to unlearn our preconceived notions of mental strength and that’s what this article is for. Keep reading to find out what mental strength is really about.

6 Myths About Mental Strength:

1. If you are mentally strong you will always be positive.

Just because you are mentally strong does not mean you will be positive all the time. It’s biologically not possible for a person to remain positive all the time. It’s not natural. Mentally strong people might have a more hopeful outlook and they might try to make the best of things, but don’t blame them for being down at times. We are all human beings.

2. Mentally strong people do not give up.

Being mentally strong doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to give up. There is no point in continuing to fight a losing battle. The strongest people will know when it’s time to give up the fight. Real mental strength is knowing when to give up and when to keep pushing.

3. You don’t have limits if you are mentally strong.

There is nothing wrong with having limits. In fact, knowing your limits is crucial to be mentally strong. While it’s great to want to do better and raise your standards, some things are just not possible. Other limits might keep you sane and safe. Breaking all your limits might actually be a waste of time because you can’t break all your limits at once. As you break some, new ones will be created, so you will keep going in circles. It’s not about having no limits, is about creating the right limits for yourself that help you be the best version of you. Those with mental strength know what limits to push, and what to keep.

4. Mental strength means you will always succeed.

You don’t have to succeed all the time. Sometimes life just pulls you down and that is okay, as long as you know you’ve done the right thing. You have to fall before you learn to fly. It’s normal to fail because that’s how you learn. Mental strength is knowing you will fail sometimes, but you also know how to learn from failures so you can succeed other times.

5. People who are mentally strong will accept any challenge.

Mentally strong people are not afraid to say no. They are confident in their opinions and know they do not always have to give in to others. They will not change themselves for fear of other people’s opinions. They respect their time and energy and create firm boundaries. This means they often say no to things they are not interested in.

6. Change is something that does not upset a mentally strong person.

You can embrace change without liking it. While a mentally strong person will outwardly look like they’re handling change well, they might be feeling very upset inside. Just because they are mentally strong doesn’t mean they are emotionless. Even the strongest people feel. In fact, real strength is found in midst of emotional vulnerability. Mentally strong people feel intensely, maybe even more intensely than a normal person, but their strength comes from dealing with these emotions without letting the emotions to control them.

30 Things That Happen When You Start To Follow Your Heart

Journey
Life Coach Code

Dejan

August 26, 2018

What if I told you that there is only one thing you should do, just one advice you should follow, to live the life you love to live from the bottom of your heart?

You don’t need a promotion, you don’t need a big house, you don’t need to find yourself or become someone you don’t want to become.

You are enough by yourself. And the thing you are supposed to do sounds really simple, and a little cliche in fact, but we will get into the real meaning of it.

What I am talking about is to follow your heart. This is an advice everyone seems to give, and most don’t really understand what it really means.

Now we will explain what following your heart really means and gives. You are enough to do this, in fact, you were always enough to start doing this.

30 Things That Happen When You Follow Your Heart:

1. You start to learn new exciting things.

When you start listening to your heart you will be driven to try and do things you always wanted to do but you didn’t do because you were busy following your regular daily pattern. These things can be as simple as listening to a new genre of music you’ll fall in love with.

2. You let go of the past.

As you follow your heart you are almost forced to move forward with your so called narrative. This means that you will need to let go of things that no longer serve you to make space for things that your heart wants you to have.

3. You discover new passions.

The path of your heart is abstract. The only clues you have of where to go is that inner pull toward something you love and your passions. As you follow your passions new ones will be unlocked. Starting to write might lead you to start painting or playing an instrument.

4. You remove things that are toxic from your life.

When you follow your heart you leave no space for toxicity. The path of love washes away any toxicity from your life. Toxic habits become easier to get rid of and toxic people suddenly start to avoid you because they can’t handle the shine of your heart.

5. You meet new people who resonate with your truth.

As you follow your own truth and express it through your actions people who resonate on the same level will be attracted to you. They will come from nowhere and become your friends, supporters and followers who help you on your journey.

6. You heal inner wounds.

The pain body and the inner trauma you keep carrying with you will start to weigh more and more. This is because your subconscious mind wants you to face it and heal it as it knows this is the only thing that truly prevents your from doing what your heart wants.

7. You slowly start to create a healthy lifestyle.

As you deal with your inner world the results will be manifested into the outer world. As you heal your inner world the same will happen with your outer world. You will create healthier environment and do more things that keep you energized and healthy.

8. You stop regretting.

We feel the greatest regret when we do not follow our heart. When we know that we love to do something and we find excuses of why not to do it, but discover we should have done it. Following your heart means you proactively do what you love, there is no regret in this.

9. You forgive yourself.

As you proactively go for what your really love you will need to face fears. In those moments when you are courageous enough to be afraid and still go for what you love you will forgive yourself for the things you keep blaming yourself.

10. You start to be kind to yourself.

Following your heart is not always easy. Even though it means you go for the things you love sometimes it will be really hard. And you will be on your own. This will teach you to be kind to yourself because yourself is all you are going to have.

11. You start to be more confident.

As you push forward and collect reference points of moments you faced your fears, of moments when it was really hard but you were strong enough to not back down, your self esteem will start growing and your default state of confidence will increase.

12. You become a happier person.

Because you are not wasting your time with irrelevant things, activities that drain your energy and you care nothing about, you are surrounded only by meaningful things and you have a sense of purpose gives you fulfillment. This will make you a happier person.

13. You start to love the world and everyone in it.

You can’t follow your heart with hate. You need to open yourself to love in order to sense more of what you truly love. As you open your heart you will see the love in the world around you. You will see the beauty hiding in plain sight not many people can see.

14. You are filled with more energy.

The sole sense of doing something you really love doing is filling you with energy. You have probably wondered how you can do something you really love for 8 hours and feel energized while doing something for 40 minutes and you feel completely drained.

15. You radiate positivity.

As you do more of what you love you are also spreading love all around you. As you follow your heart and fill up with energy and positivity you radiate this positivity to every person you interact with.

16. You are more courageous to face your fears.

As we said, following your heart is not always easy. There are moments when you need to face your fears. However, as you gather courage to do this, you are strengthening yourself to tackle more of them and you are freeing yourself from their shackles.

17. You don’t see obstacles but lessons.

It’s normal to fail sometimes. But following your heart is not about success or failure. It’s a reward within itself. You would much rather do the things you love and fail at them than not do them at all. And as you face obstacles lovingly, you will see the lessons they hold.

18. You start to give.

It is said you need to fill your own cup first so you can fill others’ and as you follow your heart your cup is filled with love. It’s filled so much that it overflows. You can’t help but to give and share your love. And as much as you do this as more you fill yourself with love.

19. You are more lighthearted.

It’s not that you are without a single care. In fact, when you follow your heart you care even more, however, you care about less things. You care about the things that you should truly care about and this relieves you from all the insignificant heaviness of the world.

20. You become a stronger person.

As you face the hardships following you heart brings you grow as a person. The inner journey actually reflects outside and you are led to face the inner obstacles that keep you from growing. Doing this, you start shedding your layers and you become stronger.

21. You learn powerful spiritual truths.

The inner journey is different for everyone. However, the direction we all go towards in our inner journey is getting closer to our heart. The closer you get the more spiritual truths you discover and learn.

22. You discover your true calling.

Nobody knows exactly what their purpose is. And even if you know, your purpose grows, changes and evolves. As you follow your heart you discover more clues and pieces of your true calling. It’s like your purpose slowly unfolds in front of you and you sense its essence.

23. You discover what you really love.

The biggest problem is not that you have no idea what you really love, it’s that you don’t take action to go for the things you kinda love. Nobody knows what they really love, at first. However, as you take action you get a sense of the things that you really, really love.

24. You trust your intuition more.

Following your heart is like working out for your intuition. At first, you might know what’s your first step, but after your first step, following you heart is mainly directed by your intuition. When you don’t know where to go and you listen your intuition, you strengthen it.

25. You stop overthinking.

A mind without a task and direction is a mind that will overthink and worry. That’s a result of our evolution and something that helped us evolve. Following your heart will obsess your mind. It will keep it focused on things you really love doing and you’ll stop overthinking.

26. You create.

There is something within all of us waiting to be created. Only you can create this thing and make it real. Following your heart makes you feel the urge to create. This urge makes you create stuff, and with each thing you create you are closer to creating your masterpiece.

27. You inspire others to become a better version.

People who follow their hearts might seem almost superhuman to others, because of their levels of energy, commitment and action taking. This glimpse of the superhuman potential inspires others to take at least one step towards becoming the best versions of themselves.

28. You become the best version of yourself.

We are born perfect, with complete worthiness to grow through our true potential. As you follow your heart you are getting closer to this truth and your essence. As you become whole and rediscover your worthiness you start becoming your best self.

29. You discover your true power.

To follow your heart means you know of something bigger than everything. It’s greater than the whole world. All fear, doubt, weakness bows in front of it, it’s the strongest force you know. When you sense this force within you, you glimpse your true power.

30. You find the most beautiful treasure.

They say the cave you most fear to enter holds your greatest treasure. Following your heart will make you enter this cave, but you will face your fear willingly. And this courageous act will give you a treasure so beautiful that imagination cannot explain.