Find Life Coach | Meet Christopher Miller: How to Find Your FISH?

Christopher Miller is one of the coaches that we found this month and we did a little interview with him. He impressed us with his honesty and strength.

He is a luminary whose path traverses continents and emotions, weaving a tale of professional evolution shaped by love, resilience, and a steadfast commitment to unleashing human potential. Embarking on a transformative odyssey after a distinguished career in pharmaceutical marketing management in the UK, he discovered his calling amidst the rigors of a coaching course. The allure of coaching captured his soul, prompting a seismic career shift that saw him traverse from Scotland to New Zealand.

His approach revolves around a revolutionary ethos, one that seeks to integrate love, fulfillment, inspiration, success, and happiness (FISH) into every coaching relationship. But it was the crucible of losing his beloved wife that forged the core of his coaching philosophy, infusing every session with compassion, resilience, and a profound reverence for life’s complexities.

He is armed with his magnum opus, “The Joy of Finding FISH,” as he embarks on a mission to enrich lives, offering not just guidance but a transformative journey towards self belief, perspective, and tangible results. With an unwavering commitment to adding immeasurable value to his clients’ lives, he emerges not just as a coach but as a beacon of hope, illuminating paths to greatness with every heartfelt interaction. Here is what he said.

Meet Life Coach Christopher Miller:

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Name: Christopher Miller

Pillar: The Spirit, The Mind

Who is this coach for: Anyone who wants to understand what really matters in life, and find Fulfilment, Inspiration, Success, and Happiness.

How they can help: By using various tools and texgniques like CliftonStrengths, reframing, asking questions, and using a set of Fishing for Love Card Game.

First of all, how are you and your family doing after these Pandemic times?

Pretty good.

My clients and I are all strong and many thriving at the moment, with a feeling of Spring and lots of opportunities on the horizon.

How did the coronavirus pandemic affect your clients? Did it affect you at all?

The pandemic was a blur for me.

In June 2020 (towards the end of the first wave of lockdowns in New Zealand), my wife got diagnosed with glioblastoma (brain cancer) which made the pandemic pale into insignificance.

She passed away in July 2021 which was the worst day of my life.

My practice was largely on hold during this time.

What are the biggest lessons that you learned in this pandemic?

That pandemics are irrelevant if you have other bigger shit going on in your life.

The Origin:

Tell us about you, your career, how you started with your coaching career?

Following a 12 year career in pharmaceutical marketing management in the UK, I attended a coaching course and fell in love so much with coaching that I realised that was my next career move.

I trained with The Coaching Academy in the UK as a Corporate and Executive Coach, and did a Personal Performance Coaching Certificate.

My wife and I then moved from Scotland to New Zealand where I joined Results.com (then a NZ national coaching company, now a software firm helping businesses thrive).

I trained as a small business development coach and worked for them for three years, coaching strategic planning and entrepreneurial mindset.

I then joined Gallup as their senior consultant in New Zealand, and led Employee Engagement and Strengths Based Culture Change projects across big corporates and large government departments.

In September 2017, I set up my own coaching and mentoring practice and have been serving business and practice owners ever since with a Strengths Based, Heart Centred Leadership approach.

What was your biggest obstacle that you had to overcome in your life that made you who you are today?

Losing my wife to cancer.

The first 8 chapters of my book, The Joy of Finding FISH was written before she passed away and she was an active editor on the project.

The last 5 chapters were written three months after she died and contain topics such as Resilience, Gratitude, Grief, and Love.

The Coaching Style:

How do you innovate with coaching your clients?

I am currently exploring integrating love, Fulfilment, Inspiration, Success, and Happiness (FISH) into all of my coaching relationships.

My book, The Joy of Finding FISH (a journey of fulfilment, inspiration, success, and happiness) outlines some of the principles of my approach.

What’s unique about your coaching approach?

Deeply compassionate and fully present for my clients.

Courage to ask confronting and big questions to change a life.

My motto is ‘Add so much value that the client doesn’t need you for the rest of your life, and add so much value that they want a relationship with you for the rest of your lives.’

What benefits do your clients get after working with you?

Belief (perhaps that they don’t have in themselves).
Perspective about what’s important in life.
Results: courage to lead a great life and an extraordinary business.

Do you use any specific tools to be efficient with your clients?

Developing a set of Fishing for Love Card Game whose purpose is to make meaningful conversations about love, fulfilment, inspiration, success, and happiness easy and fun.

Also lots of coaching tools on my website for business owners, individuals, and CliftonStrengths Coaches.

The Impact:

If you had a super megaphone that, when you speak into, the whole world will hear your message, what would you say?

Love has the power to solve every problem, past, present and future,

How would you increase the love in your life exponentially?

What is the greatest lesson you have learned in your life?

Love is all there is.

Your final thoughts?

Along with all of the above, my next book Finding FISH in a Strengths Based Practice (fulfilment, inspiration, success, and happiness in a life well lived) will likely publish in May 2024.

Where Can You Find Christopher Miller?

If you liked this interview and you would love to find your own FISH in a life well lived, go to www.christopher-miller.com and see how he can help you do that.

If you like to peak a glimpse into his coaching, get his book The Joy of Finding FISH on Amazon.

And if you’d like to connect with him more personally, you can do that through LinkedIn, Facebook, or by sending him a direct message on his Email [email protected]. It was an honor having this interview with him.

Find Life Coach | Meet Arlene Cohen Miller: How to Unleash The Jewel Within?

Arlene Cohen Miller is one of the coaches that we found this month and we did a little interview with her. She impressed us with her dedication and passion.

Her own journey is one of proactive transformation. Starting as a legal professional, she harnessed coaching techniques to enrich her negotiation skills and unearth her true potential. Now, as the leader of Jewel Consultancy, she embodies the fusion of strategic insight and spiritual depth, guiding clients towards a harmonious existence.

She has an arsenal of dynamic methodologies. From posing compelling questions to fostering genuine engagement, she redefines coaching by nurturing holistic growth and igniting profound personal revolutions.

Her coaching is one of a kind. She is not just reframing the mindset but also reshaping the belief system, helping you heal, feel your emotions, and unleash the brightest potential you carry within yourself. Embark on a voyage of self discovery and empowerment as she invites you to unlock the jewel within yourself. Here is what she said.

Meet Life Coach Arlene Cohen Miller:

find-life-coach-arlene-cohen-miller

Name: Arlene Cohen Miller

Pillar: The Spirit, The Mind, The Heart

Who is this coach for: Anyone, especially women who want to BE more of their highest, clearest, and brightest potential.

How they can help: By using various tools and techniques like asking powerful questions, active listening, and soul reading sessions, just to name a few.

First of all, how are you and your family doing after these Pandemic times?

My family and I are doing fine.

The pandemic was difficult in terms of isolation.

I am so grateful to be back with my yoga family and enjoying in person classes.

I am grateful that my business groups have monthly in person gatherings again.

I appreciate these connections so much more now.

How did the coronavirus pandemic affect your clients? Did it affect you at all?

Some of my client’s businesses and livelihoods were negatively impacted by the pandemic.

It was hard to witness years of hard work falling by the wayside.

It was also an honor and a privilege to support and champion them as they explored and discovered ways to minimize the loss and create a new future for themselves.

I was minimally impacted by the pandemic.

Although I had the coronavirus twice, my symptoms were relatively mild.

I missed socializing with colleagues and friends, as we all did.

Overall, I feel that there’s a lot to be grateful for, and I’m choosing to focus on that.

What are the biggest lessons that you learned in this pandemic?

The biggest lesson that I learned is that any disaster can be turned into a blessing, any blessing can be turned into a disaster and there’s always a better way.

The Origin:

Tell us about you, your career, how you started with your coaching career?

I am the CEO of Jewel Consultancy, offering work life harmony and balance coaching for women as well as spiritual mentoring and soul readings.

Coaching helps you create the work and life harmony and balance that supports your overall health, well being, and professional success.

It helps you to prioritize your needs, boundaries, and aspirations, be the leading lady in your life, and make decisions that align with your dreams and goals.

Spiritual mentoring helps you take the anxiety and stress in your life and transform it into love.

It helps you journey more deeply into your own heart’s knowing, and be more of your highest, clearest, brightest potential: The Jewel Within.

Soul Readings offer you a rich, healing journey into a bigger perspective of what matters:

The opportunities open to you and how to best take advantage of them…
The support available to reach your goals and create the life you desire, and…
The simple tools and skills you need to create the clearest, brightest future.

We work with Psychic Tarot Oracle Cards to facilitate your reading.

I became a Professional Certified Coach with the International Coaching Federation while I was still a partner in a small boutique Colorado law firm.

I initially obtained my coaching certification to enhance my negotiation and communication skills in the practice of law and the management of our law firm.

One of my primary roles was negotiating settlements.

Knowing how to ask questions and share observations so that people felt heard and understood helped tremendously in reaching agreements.

When we sold our law firm and the business assets several years later, I became the CEO of Jewel Consultancy and embarked on a new adventure of service and commitment.

What was your biggest obstacle that you had to overcome in your life that made you who you are today?

The biggest obstacle that I had to overcome was perfectionism, being hard on myself, and feeling like I didn’t measure up.

I now know that I am enough.

I’ve stopped comparing myself to others or judging myself.

I focus on loving and accepting myself as I am so that I can bring the same energy and support to the people I serve.

The Coaching Style:

How do you innovate with coaching your clients?

I offer innovative tools and skills when coaching my clients, including:

Asking Powerful Questions:

Powerful questions challenge and inspire my clients to think outside the box.

In so doing, I help them to unlock new insights, release limiting beliefs, and cultivate creative solutions.

Asking for Client Feedback:

Asking clients what they like about our coaching sessions and what they would change helps me to best serve them during our time together.

Staying Engaged During Sessions:

Being fully present and engaged builds trust with clients and a positive, supportive relationship.

Ending Sessions on a High Note:

Acknowledging clients for what they’ve shared and how they’ve grown is a privilege.

Recognizing the gains that they’ve made and the shifts they’ve experienced is both supportive and uplifting.

Spending Most of the Time Listening:

Being genuinely curious helps clients discover what a successful session will look like and gives them a clearer picture of what they need to explore to find a solution that meets their needs.

Being Prepared: 

Being prepared is about reviewing coaching notes from prior sessions, organizing the coaching space, breathing, checking in, and being fully present and ready to serve.

I choose to support my clients so that they know that our coaching space is safe and that I always have their back.

Focusing on Solutions:

Focusing on solutions means helping clients to identify and develop their strengths, talents, and skills and to unleash their full potential.

Supporting them to set achievable milestones, create action plans, and find the resources they need to keep stepping forward are keys to success.

Going Above and Beyond:

Improving communication skills, enhancing leadership abilities, cultivating a positive mindset, and unlocking new opportunities to achieve greater success are ways I work with clients, going above and beyond what they believe is possible during our time together.

What’s unique about your coaching approach?

Relating to my clients as a whole person on all levels is the unique approach I bring to coaching: exploring and connecting with them on the physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, personal, and professional levels of being.

What benefits do your clients get after working with you?

The benefits that my clients experience from working with me are:

  1. Feeling more confident and worthy of success
  2. Enjoying more fulfilling relationships
  3. Creating greater work and life harmony and balance
  4. Releasing limiting beliefs and dropping bad habits
  5. Embracing their strengths, skills, and abilities
  6. Experiencing a renewed passion and drive for work
  7. Cultivating greater financial security
  8. Enjoying more emotional and physical well being
  9. Developing a deeper feeling of purpose in life
  10. Being more mindful of how they approach life
  11. Discovering simple ways to manage their time
  12. Becoming more passionate and excited about their goals
  13. Being more focused and on track
  14. Unlocking new insights and perspectives
  15. Releasing negative thoughts and feelings
  16. Creating a more positive outlook on life
  17. Letting go of more anxiety and stress
  18. Unlocking their creative potential
  19. Working through personal and work related issues
  20. RE examining their beliefs and assumptions
  21. Finding ways to do the things that they love to do
  22. Feeling more committed to achieving their goals
  23. Acknowledging and appreciating their victories
  24. Learning to handle whatever life presents
  25. Experiencing a renewed faith and trust in their inner coach

Do you use any specific tools to be efficient with your clients?

Yes, I use Microsoft Teams for remote coaching, mentoring, and soul reading sessions, and I have Calendly on my website so that it’s easy to schedule sessions on days and times that work for you.

The Impact:

If you had a super megaphone that, when you speak into, the whole world will hear your message, what would you say?

Before doing or saying anything, ask yourself: What would love do now? How may I best serve? Follow your heart.

There is no greater power than the power of love.

So, shine brightly and be powerfully loving.

What is the greatest lesson you have learned in your life?

The greatest lesson I’ve learned in my life is that feeling is healing, allowing myself to feel all my feelings, no matter how painful or sad, and then letting them go with gratitude and acceptance.

Knowing how to allow feelings to move through me and replace them with more love helps me be a better coach and mentor for my clients.

It helps me to model ways of Being that they can choose to experience in their lives.

Your final thoughts?

I am offering a free 50 minute Discovery Session with anyone who reads this article and mentions “Life Coach Code” when contacting me.

A Discovery Session is about getting clear on what you really want and need.

Simply text or email me at 720.936.2634 or [email protected].

Share your name, where you live, and your availability for a session, and mention “Life Coach Code”.

Your details will not be shared with or sold to anyone. 

Warm regards, Arlene.

Where Can You Find Arlene Cohen Miller?

If you liked this interview and if you would love to unleash The Jewel Within, then contact coach Arlene at 720.936.2634 or send her a direct message on her Email [email protected]. Write “Life Coach Code” for a free 50 minute Discovery Session.

If you’d like to peak a glimpse in her coaching, follow her Instagram account and YouTube channel.

And if you’d like to connect with her more personally, you can do that through LinkedIn and by sending her a message on her Email [email protected]. It was an honor having this interview with her.

Bigger the heart, bigger the heartbreak? | What We Can Learn from Whales

Imagine the vast ocean that covers the planet and the creatures so massive and majestic that their hearts alone can weigh as much as a car!

Yes, we’re talking about whales, those gentle giants of the sea who not only mesmerize us with their size but also with their enchanting songs. 🐋💔

Did you know that a blue whale’s heart can weigh as much as 2,000 pounds (907 kilograms)? That’s around the size of a small car!

It’s one of the largest hearts in the animal kingdom.

But it’s not just their hearts that make whales remarkable…

what-we-can-learn-from-whales

Their mating and pairing rituals are equally intriguing.

Whales are known for forming strong bonds with their partners, often staying together for long periods, sometimes even for life.

Whale mating isn’t just about reproduction, it’s also about forming deep emotional connections. 💖

Just like humans, whales seek companionship and support from their partners, especially during challenging times. 💏 

When it’s time to mate, they engage in elaborate courtship displays, which can involve singing complex songs.  

So, when we listen to whale songs, we’re not just hearing beautiful melodies, we’re also tapping into the emotional world of the largest heart on this planet!

Their songs remind us of the power of connection and resilience, guiding us through the ups and downs of life, including the journey of healing after a breakup. 🌸

The right music is healing!

So this weekend if you are sad or lonely or just need to get out of the energies of any unhappy relationship, make a playlist to suit your mood and let the emotions roll.

Cry to some sad songs and release those pent up tears.

Tap your feet to the upbeat song to allow yourself hope and brightness.

Sing along a peppy song that gives you energy and motivates you!

Maybe listen to some whale songs!!

Let their majestic deep voices resonating through the entire ocean wrap around you like a comforting embrace, reminding you that, just like the vast ocean, your heart is capable of great strength and boundless beauty. 🌊🎶

Allow the depth and the strength of the song to help you rise above the daily difficulties and remember who you truly are! A majestic human capable of holding an ocean of love in your heart.

Remember this weekend to offer that love to yourself first!

After all, as Shakespeare said so eloquently in Twelfth Night, “If music be the food of love, play on!”

9 Wellness Tips for Nighttime Incontinence for Achieving Better Sleep for Better Health

Do you struggle with nighttime incontinence, making it difficult to get a good night’s sleep and impacting your overall health and well being?

Many people face this common issue, but there are ways to manage it effectively to improve your quality of life.

Here, we’ll explore 9 great wellness tips for nighttime incontinence to achieve better sleep for better health.

9 Wellness Tips for Better Sleep:

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Nighttime incontinence can be a frustrating and embarrassing condition to deal with.

It can disrupt sleep, making you tired and irritable during the day.

However, these strategies and tips can help you better manage nighttime incontinence and achieve more restful sleep for improved health.

1. Consulting a Healthcare Professional

If you have problems with urination at night, see a doctor immediately to find out what’s causing it and get the right treatment.

Your doctor can fully evaluate, including a physical check, urine tests, and imaging studies.

This helps find any underlying health problems that cause nighttime enuresis.

They can make a care plan that fits your needs based on what they find.

But they will probably suggest bed pads for incontinence because they protect your mattress and clothing even more.

Bed pads, also called underpads, soak up water and stop leaks, so your bed stays clean and dry all night.

They come in different sizes and amounts of absorbency to meet different needs, and you can choose to throw them away or use them again.

2. Establishing a Bedtime Routine

Having the same routine every night before bed can help your body know it’s time to relax and get ready for sleep.

Adding relaxing activities like reading, gentle stretching, or meditation to your nightly routine can help you rest and feel less stressed.

So, why not set a regular sleep schedule?

This will help your body’s internal clock stay in sync and improve the quality of your sleep as time passes.

3. Limiting Fluid Intake Before Bed

Limiting the fluid you drink hours before bed is best to lower the risk of crashes at night.

But you should ensure you’re adequately refreshed by drinking water earlier in the day.

If you want to control your nocturnal enuresis better, staying away from caffeine and alcohol in the evening can also help reduce the intensity and frequency of your urination.

4. Using Absorbent Products

As mentioned earlier, absorbent products, like bed pads, help you get through the night.

These products can provide extra protection against accidents, allowing you to sleep well without worrying about leaks or stains.

Also, waterproof bedding can help protect your mattress from damage caused by urine leaks.

You don’t have to think about a messy bed when you wake up.

You can wake up and feel great to start the day!

5. Practicing Pelvic Floor Exercises

Pelvic floor exercises are among the most essential wellness tips for nighttime incontinence.

Strengthening the pelvic floor muscles can control your bladder better and cause fewer accidents at night.

When you do pelvic floor exercises, also called “Kegels,” you tense and rest the muscles that control urination.

You can do these movements without drawing attention to yourself at any time of the day.

They are especially good for people whose pelvic floor muscles are weak from giving birth, getting older, or other causes.

6. Creating a Restful Sleep Environment

One more tip is to make your bedroom a good place to sleep.

To get the best sleep, ensure your bedroom is dark, quiet, and comfortable.

Buy a mattress that is comfy and pillows that support your body well.

Block out the light with blackout shades or an eye mask to sleep better.

Earplugs or white noise machines can also help block out annoying sounds and help you sleep.

7. Practicing Stress Reduction Techniques

Anxiety and stress can worsen nighttime accidents and make sleeping harder.

Stress relieving activities like mindfulness meditation, deep breathing exercises, or progressive muscle relaxation in your daily life can help clear your mind and make you feel more relaxed.

Managing your stress well can help you sleep better and lessen the effects of mental factors on nocturnal enuresis.

8. Monitoring Dietary Triggers

Some foods and drinks can upset the bladder and make problems with nighttime accidents worse.

Pay attention to how your body responds to different foods and drinks, and if they make you go to the bathroom more often or right away, limit or avoid them.

Foods that often set off food allergies include spicy foods, citrus fruits, caffeine, booze, and artificial sweeteners.

You can lower the number and seriousness of accidents at night by changing what you eat and avoiding things that might set them off.

9. Seeking Support

It can be hard on your emotions to deal with nighttime urination, but you’re not alone.

Talk to family, friends, or support groups about your feelings and experiences to get help and know they understand.

If you’re honest about your problems with nighttime leakage, you might feel less alone and get helpful advice and tips from people who have been through the same things.

What You Should Remember?

Taking care of nighttime incontinence requires a complete method that considers physical and emotional factors.

Following the health advice in this article, you can successfully deal with nocturnal enuresis, get better sleep, and improve your well being.

Don’t forget to talk to a medical expert for help and treatment options specific to your needs.

You can regain control of your nighttime incontinence with patience, persistence, and support.

You can also get restful nights of sleep for better health and energy.

10 Rules for Being Human | Rule 3: There are no mistakes, only lessons

“There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial and error: experimentation. The ‘failed’ experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately ‘works’.” — Dr. Chérie Carter-Scott

Imagine yourself standing at the precipice of a magnificent garden. Lush greenery stretches before you, vibrant flowers bloom in every direction, and the air thrums with life.

But to reach this paradise, you must navigate a maze, some paths lead to fragrant blooms, others to prickly hedges.

This, my friends, is a beautiful metaphor for life.

Dr. Cherie’s NEW book “Life IS a Game” dives deep into each of these 10 rules explored by her own real life experience.

She dedicated her life following these rules and now, at the age of 75 she reveals the lessons that she learned by following the “10 Rules for Being Human” for over 50 years.

That’s the beauty and brilliance of this book, it’s a real life experiment and testimony to the truth. Get your copy today and make sure to leave an honest review, it helps more than you know. Thank you!

We embark on this incredible journey with the inherent desire to create a vibrant and fulfilling existence.

However, the path is rarely a straight line…

We encounter detours, dead ends, and sometimes, those prickly hedges.

But here’s the secret most successful people understand: These are not mistakes, but experiments.

Rule 3: There are no mistakes, only lessons

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Think of yourself as a brilliant scientist, forever conducting experiments in the grand laboratory of life.

Every experience, every choice, is a test.

Some lead to stunning discoveries: the perfect job, a cherished friendship, a moment of pure joy.

Others may not yield the desired outcome, like a missed opportunity or a decision with unforeseen consequences.

But here’s the key:

All experiments, successful or seemingly failed, provide valuable data.

The “failed” experiment doesn’t mean you’re a bad scientist, it simply means you’ve learned something vital about the system you’re navigating.

Did that job interview not go well?

Perhaps your resume needs tweaking, or the company culture wasn’t the right fit.

Did that investment not pan out?

Maybe it exposed a gap in your financial knowledge, prompting you to seek out valuable information.

3 Ways How to Grow from Your “Mistakes”:

Growth is, by its very nature, a messy process.

It’s a beautiful dance of trial and error, where mistakes are merely stepping stones on the path to mastery.

Here’s how you can truly embrace the power of this rule

1. Reframe your perception.

Instead of dwelling on the negativity of a “mistake,” it’s more constructive to ask yourself a series of empowering questions:

What can I learn from this experience that will help me navigate similar situations in the future?
What hidden strengths did I discover within myself during this challenge?
How can I use this knowledge to make better choices moving forward?

By shifting your focus from blame to learning, you transform setbacks into stepping stones and cultivate a growth mindset, the belief that you can learn from any experience and improve over time.

2. Embrace the discomfort.

Stepping outside your comfort zone is where real growth happens.

Discomfort is a natural part of the learning process.

It’s the feeling you get when you try something new, push your boundaries, or challenge yourself.

It might be the nervous flutter before a big presentation, the frustration of tackling a complex problem, or the awkwardness of initiating a conversation with someone new.

But here’s the thing: discomfort is a signal, not a stop sign.

It’s your body’s way of telling you that you’re on the edge of growth.

When you embrace discomfort, you open yourself up to new possibilities and experiences.

You learn to navigate uncertainty, develop resilience, and build confidence in your ability to handle whatever life throws your way.

So, the next time you feel that familiar flutter of nervousness, don’t shy away from it. See it as an invitation to experiment, to learn, and to grow.

3. Track your progress.

It’s easy to get discouraged when focusing solely on the grand destination.

Instead, try to keep a record of your small wins.

Did you finally master that challenging yoga pose? Celebrate!
Did you overcome your fear of public speaking and deliver a confident presentation? Acknowledge your achievement!

Tracking your progress, no matter how seemingly insignificant, allows you to witness the accumulation of your efforts and fosters a sense of accomplishment.

This, in turn, fuels your motivation and keeps you moving forward on your path of growth.

Boldly Into The Unkown

My friends, there are no wrong turns in this magnificent garden of life.

Each experience, positive or negative, shapes who you are and propels you towards your personal paradise.

So, step boldly into the unknown, embrace the detours, and remember, the most profound lessons often emerge from the most unexpected “mistakes.”

Now, go forth and conduct your most magnificent experiment yet, your life!

If you want to dive deeper into the 10 Rules for Being Human, Dr. Cherie’s NEW book “Life IS a Game” entangles the secret lessons from within each of these 10 rules based on her own real life experience. Get your copy today and let us know your feedback. Thank you!

Life IS a Game Book Cover Master

If you want to learn more about Dr. Cherie visit her website.


Go to Rule #2< or >Go to Rule #4

Why Do Bad Divorces Happen to Good People? | 7 Mindset Shifts to Reframe Divorce

Sara was angry and frustrated when we spoke.

“I did everything I was told! I obeyed my parents, teachers, elders in the family, his parents. What did I get in return?? Broken dreams, abuse, shattered hopes, and unfulfilled promises. Getting away from him was almost as bad as living with him! So tell me Doc, Why do bad divorces happen to good people?”

Are you going through or have been through a divorce or breakup and asked yourself the same question?

Here are some ways to REthink that question!

7 Mindset Shifts to Reframe Divorce:

mindset-shifts-to-reframe-divorce

As you know by now 😊 Life is ever changing as are relationships.

Sometimes, despite our best efforts, marriages unravel.

Infidelity, financial strain, or simply growing apart, the reasons are as varied as the stories themselves.

But amidst the chaos, there’s an empowering truth: we can choose how we perceive and respond to the situation.

It’s easy to slip into the role of the victim, blaming circumstances or our ex partner for the pain we’re experiencing.

While this is a natural response, it’s crucial to recognize that dwelling in victimhood doesn’t lead to liberation.

Instead, it’s a self imposed trap that hinders personal growth and healing.

Shifting our mindset is the key to breaking free from the chains of victimhood.

Here are some steps to guide the way:

1. Embrace Acceptance

Victim Mode: “Why did this happen to me? It’s not fair!”

Liberation Mindset: “I accept the reality of the situation. It’s a stepping stone to a new chapter in my life.”

2. Focus on Choices

Victim Mode: “I have no control over anything.”

Liberation Mindset: “While I can’t control everything, I can choose how I respond and shape my future.”

3. Seek Growth Through Adversity

Victim Mode: “This is the end of my happiness.”

Liberation Mindset: “Adversity is an opportunity for personal growth. I will emerge stronger and wiser.”

4. Let Go of Resentment

Victim Mode: “I can’t forgive what they did.”

Liberation Mindset: “Forgiving doesn’t condone, but it liberates me from carrying unnecessary weight.”

5. Build a Support System

Victim Mode: “I’m alone in this.”

Liberation Mindset: “I’ll lean on friends, family, or support groups. Connection aids healing.”

6. Redefine Your Narrative

Victim Mode: “I’m a failure.”

Liberation Mindset: “I’m resilient and capable. This is a chance to redefine my life.”

7. Practice Self Compassion

Victim Mode: “I don’t deserve happiness.”

Liberation Mindset: “I deserve love and happiness, starting with self compassion.”

What You Should Remember?

In the book of life, divorce may be a chapter, but it doesn’t define the entire story!

Bad divorces happen to good people, but how we navigate the aftermath shapes our future.

Choose liberation over victimhood, and the path to healing becomes a journey toward newfound strength and resilience.

If you are committed to it but don’t exactly know how, then contact me at [email protected] for a FREE discovery call to understand how my RelationSHIFT framework can transform your life! You can find all my contact information below.

10 Rules for Being Human | Rule 2: You will be presented with lessons

“You will be presented with lessons. You are enrolled in a full time informal school called “life.” Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or hate them, but you have designed them as part of your curriculum.” — Dr. Chérie Carter-Scott

Have you ever stopped to consider that every single experience you have, every bump in the road and joyous celebration, is part of a grand, personalized curriculum?

Dr. Chérie Carter-Scott, in her insightful book Life Is a Game, These Are the Rules, introduces us to the concept of life as an “informal school.”

In this school, you’re enrolled for the duration of your life, and the lessons come fast and furious.

The concept can be daunting, can’t it?

Tests we didn’t study for, pop quizzes that leave us bewildered, and homework that never seems to end…

But what if we shifted our perspective?

What if, instead of dreading the “lessons” life throws our way, we saw them as opportunities for growth?

Dr. Cherie’s NEW book “Life IS a Game” dives deep into each of these 10 rules from her own real life experience. She laid the grounds by writting the “10 Rules for Being Human” decades ago. But that was just the start of her journey.

She dedicated her life following these rules and now, at the age of 75 she reveals the lessons that she learned by following the “10 Rules for Being Human” for over 50 years.

That’s the beauty and brilliance of this book, it’s a real life experiment and testimony to the truth. Get your copy today!

Rule 2: “You will be presented with lessons”

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Here’s the truth, beautiful souls: you designed your curriculum.

Before you arrived here, on this grand stage of life, you chose the experiences that would nudge you, challenge you, and ultimately help you evolve.

Think about it, the relationships you forge, the careers you pursue, even the seemingly random obstacles that pop up… they all hold valuable lessons waiting to be unearthed.

The key is to become an active participant in your own education.

Here are some ways to approach life’s lessons with curiosity, openness, and be a better student…

4 Ways How to Be a Better Student of Life:

1. Embrace the Discomfort

Let’s face it, some lessons sting.

A broken heart, a job loss, a setback on a long held dream, these experiences can leave us feeling lost and defeated.

But within the discomfort lies a potent opportunity for growth.

Questions are powerful. The right questions can transform your life.

Questions like: What is this trying to teach me? Is it about resilience, the importance of letting go, or the power of reevaluation?

Perhaps it’s a nudge to check your priorities, or a reminder of your inner strength.

By leaning into the discomfort rather than shying away from it, you open yourself to the possibility of profound transformation.

2. Become an Observer

Sometimes the greatest lessons unfold subtly.

Take a moment each day to simply observe your thoughts, feelings, and reactions.

Try to notice patterns: are there situations that consistently trigger negativity or fear?

Perhaps you find yourself getting defensive in certain conversations, or maybe procrastination becomes your go to response when faced with a challenge.

This awareness is the first step towards positive change.

Once you identify these patterns, you can begin to understand their root cause.

Are they tied to limiting beliefs you hold about yourself? Are they echoes of past experiences?

By observing your inner world without judgment, you gain the power to choose your response to life’s circumstances.

You can move from being on autopilot to becoming the conscious conductor of your life’s orchestra.

3. Celebrate the Victories

Life’s curriculum isn’t all pop quizzes and heartbreak.

There are moments of triumph, connection, and pure joy.

Savor these experiences!

They serve as validation that you’re on the right track, and they fuel your inner spirit for the challenges ahead.

Take time to acknowledge your accomplishments, big and small.

Did you finally master that challenging yoga pose? Did you land your dream job? Did you mend a broken friendship?

Celebrate these victories with gusto!

Share them with loved ones, throw yourself a mini party, or simply take a moment to appreciate yourself.

Celebrating your wins reinforces positive behaviors and builds your confidence.

It reminds you that you are capable of achieving great things, and it motivates you to keep moving forward on your life’s path.

4. Never Stop Questioning

Curiosity is the key to unlocking life’s hidden lessons.

Asking yourself “why” about everything can be really helpful.

Your reactions, the choices you make, the way the world unfolds around you…

The more you question, the deeper your understanding of yourself and the world becomes.

Don’t be afraid to challenge assumptions, both your own and those of society.

Seek out diverse perspectives and explore different ways of thinking.

This openness to new ideas broadens your horizons and allows you to see the world through a fresh lens.

As you delve deeper into the “why” behind everything, you’ll discover a wealth of knowledge and uncover hidden patterns that will illuminate your path forward.

Remember, there are no wrong questions in life’s school.

Every question you ask is a stepping stone on your journey to greater self awareness and understanding.

Life’s school is an ongoing journey…

It’s filled with both challenges and triumphs.

By approaching each experience with an open mind and a willingness to learn, you can transform the lessons presented into the wisdom that shapes your life.

Remember, beautiful souls, you are the author of your story.

Choose to be an active participant, a curious student, and watch as your life unfolds with ever increasing clarity and purpose.

If you want to dive deeper into each of the “10 Rules for Being Human”, get Dr. Cherie’s NEW book “Life IS a Game” that dives deep into each of these 10 rules from her own real life experience.

Life IS a Game Book Cover Master

If you want to learn more about Dr. Cherie visit her website.


Go to Rule #1< or >Go to Rule #3

This is Where Variety Meets Convenience: Inside the iSoftGamble Casino Aggregator Ecosystem

As we said in few other articles, playing online games can be meditative and relaxing. In the modern world, we have lots of stress every day. Having an outlet, a hobby, something to make your mind stop from overthinking can be really helpful.

Imagine a digital coliseum where the echoes of spinning reels and shuffling cards reverberate through cyberspace, inviting players from all corners of the globe to partake in the thrill of chance.

That’s exactly how one of our editors described his favorite hobby and platform.

As a leading casino content aggregator, iSoftGamble is poised to revolutionize the industry, offering unparalleled opportunities for operators.

At the heart of their mission lies a commitment to providing a seamless and enjoyable gaming experience for everyone involved.

Through strategic collaborations with top tier casino game developers and suppliers, they’ve curated a vast collection of premium content, ranging from classic slots to immersive live dealer experiences.

As they say:

“We believe in making gaming accessible and exciting.”

One Platform, Endless Thrills

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In today’s bustling online gaming world, players are drowning in choices, while operators struggle to find top notch content to keep them hooked.

Enter iSoftGamble and its league of iGaming aggregators.

These tech savvy wizards swoop in to save the day, making life easier for both players and operators by offering a treasure trove of casino games from a multitude of providers, all under one roof.

Empowering Operators, Delighting Players

In a world where competition is fierce and technology evolves at lightning speed, staying ahead of the game is everything.

That’s why they’re always pushing the boundaries, exploring new frontiers, and embracing cutting edge technologies like AI and blockchain.

By harnessing the power of innovation, they aim to not just keep up with the times, but to lead the way, delivering unmatched value to their partners every step of the journey.

Exciting Game Selection: Their platform offers a wide array of games from top notch providers, guaranteeing players a diverse and engaging gaming journey.

Effortless Integration: Connecting with iSoftGamble is a breeze, thanks to their state of the art API technology and solid backend infrastructure. This means operators can seamlessly add new content to their platforms without any hassle.

Insightful Analytics: They equip operators with robust analytics tools to fine tune their gaming offerings and boost player engagement. From real time reports to in depth player behavior analysis, their insights empower operators to make informed decisions and drive their business forward.

Get in Touch: Let’s Make Gaming Magic Together

At iSoftGamble, they’re all about making connections and crafting extraordinary gaming experiences.

Whether you’re a passionate operator eager to enhance your platform or a player hungry for new thrills, they’re here to bring your gaming dreams to life.

Reach out to them today, and start an adventure that’s as unique and exciting as you are.

Eric, our editor, has fallen in love with them and it’s his favorite hobby that helps him relax. And remember, having a hobby is one thing, being addicted is another.