We all know how important is being self confident. We all hear the phrase “just be confident” or “the most important thing is confidence” but when we ask “What is confidence?” no one can truly explain it simply.
Now I want to give it a shot, just bare with me.
What is confidence?
Confidence is the glue that keeps your beliefs together. Simple enough?
I know, I know, it is not what you expected, and it may be kind of confusing, but don’t worry I will make everything clear as the bright sunshine for you superhumans.
We will now imagine that we are playing a game.
What kind of game do we play?
It is an RPG – Role Playing Game – and you have a character you play with. This is your EGO.
It is an open world and you choose your own quests. Your EGO is leveling up with the experience it gains through the game and it becomes more and more powerful.
The experience points – memories – you gain are stored inside the structure of your ego. This is what we call beliefs or belief system. It is the coding of WHO YOU ARE.
To understand this concept first we need to understand what memories or experience points are.
What are memories actually?
Memories can be experiences, knowledge, stories, opinions.. in fact everything you can remember and use to shape thoughts is memory.Their importance depends on the value a memory holds for your EGO and the value comes from what has meaning for YOU.
Your purpose tells what quests are important for your EGO depending on what holds meaning for YOU and what holds meaning for YOU shapes the quests available to take. You see everything is connected.
What are BELIEFS and how do they play a part in this game?
A couple of memories holding similar meaning unite their meaning and create a whole we call “A Belief”.
A couple of beliefs may unite together to create a belief system. The rules of the game are determined by our mutual beliefs.
Beliefs are probably the most important thing of YOU. They create YOU, they tell what your capabilities will be, what you will seek in life, what your REALITY will look like.
What is the reason for having beliefs?
Let’s say that we hold UNIMAGINABLE POWER deep in our essence. For this power to upgrade we need to limit its potential with beliefs so it can have a friction to build upon.
This friction is presented through our purpose and quests. The values we collect through the game is what upgrades this POWER. Without quests there won’t be any values to collect.
However, sometimes we can forget how powerful we are because we are focused for too long on the outside. This results in FEAR and DOUBT.
How to imagine the structure of beliefs?
Imagine a bright ball in the center. This bright ball is the UNIMAGINABLE POWER. Now imagine a wall around this bright ball. This ball-like wall are your beliefs.
From the outside you cannot see the inside, all you can see is a reflection of your beliefs.
CONFIDENCE is what holds this wall together, the glue that holds your beliefs together.
When we lack confidence the wall of beliefs is unstable and the brightness of the UNIMAGINABLE POWER passes through. This is what scares us the most.
How do we usually make the wall of beliefs stable?
To make this wall stable again we usually apply our lack of confidence to something we can easily perceive and is stable, which is something material.
We find material things as stable because we mostly depend on our senses of sight and touch so we perceive everything we can see and touch as real – stable.
This is what the world thinks of when it speaks about “Ego” which is only the bad version of it.
It is the lack of confidence we search in other’s approval for our beliefs about ourselves. The lack of confidence we apply to others to prove our beliefs for us.
This, of course, is not the right way to deal with lack of confidence. What we should do is restore our confidence and stabilize the wall of our beliefs. For this we need CONFIDENCE POINTS.
How do we earn confidence points and stabilize the wall in a right way?
Fear is what our EGO sees when it peeks between our beliefs, which is possible because they are unstable. It doesn’t see the UNIMAGINABLE POWER because it is a reflection of IT through the beliefs which are now unstable.
Now it only sees the difference between the UNIMAGINABLE POWER and itself which is presented as fear.
Doubt is the lack of confidence and it is the essence of fear. To earn confidence points we need to face what our EGO sees as fear to show our EGO that there is no difference between the UNIMAGINABLE POWER and the reflection.
When the difference is gone, the doubt is gone which means the essence of fear is gone and fear seizes to exist for a while. This gives us confidence points and stabilizes the wall even stronger than it was.
What is COURAGE?
Now you probably think “Ok, so all I need to do is do what I am afraid of.” and this is not exactly right.
If you are afraid of being stabbed with a knife it doesn’t mean to stab yourself with a knife!
Having courage is simply letting yourself be afraid instead of running away from fear. Surrender to your fear, stop resisting and keep going towards the direction of LOVE, towards the direction of what you truly love to do.
What happens when you stop running from fear?
Fear is an illusion and it can do you no harm unless it convinces you to harm yourself. It is an illusion.
Once you stop running the illusion slowly disappears. After you stop running and you feel that freedom of fear disappearing you gain confidence points which stabilize the wall and remove your doubts about yourself.
You gain confidence points because YOU, after all, slew the monster your EGO was running away from for so long. Your EGO once again starts having faith in YOU which is the essence of confidence.
What part do ANXIETY and ANGER take in this game?
Anxiety and Anger are 2 sides of the same coin. When you lack confidence and you are full of doubt you feel anxious.
Having courage after long period of feeling anxious will result most of the time in anger. That’s why anger is considered as an improvement emotion.
However, what you should do is be assertive. When you unite courage and assertiveness you unite the 2 sides of the coin and you face everything with the HIGHEST POTENTIAL.
How often should we face fear with courage?
The time of being afraid is proportional with the lack of confidence you’ll have.
Whenever you feel afraid of something that stands on your way of doing things you love you should face it with courage.
I hope this article helps all of you superhumans to win your inner battles, find your “SUPER” and become a powerful hero in this game.
THE CODE <Face fear with courage and assertiveness to gain confidence points and strengthen your beliefs>