Falling in love is as different from being in love as laughing is different from being happy. Let me explain.
Laughing and having a good time is happiness, but it has an expiration date as soon as the joke is not funny anymore or the fun is over.
Being in love is more as being happy. It’s a way of being rather than a reaction or a response to something.
Why do we call it falling in love then?
Our ego! We want that person, we crave that person, and for a time, we need that person to such a level that they turn into a drug.
We get addicted to that person until it either destroys us or we get ahead of the game. This basic craving is what we begin considering as falling in love.
We call it falling in love because, for our ego, it seems like falling. It craves this partner so it can dissolve into them. So we can lose ourselves into them. So we can fall into them.
Let’s get back, what does being in love mean?
Well just like we said in the example. Falling in love ends as soon as the other person loses interest.
Being in love means that this is your state of being. You are in love and you live from there. You don’t try to be in love, you simply live from there.
You don’t necessarily need anything nor anyone to be there just like being happy doesn’t necessarily require a joke.
Falling in love makes us feel that we are surrounded by sunshine and daisies but we couldn’t be further away from the truth. These are intangible illusions of the ego.
But being in love is real. It is true and tangible. We don’t identify with it nor do we need it for approval, we simply live from it.
Falling in love would definitely suffice for a short period of time. You feel good, you feel validated, and you feel loved.
But is that real love?
No, it’s just a glimpse of the love you project upon the other person. A glimpse of the real love you cannot see within yourself.
Being in love is living through this real love you already have within you as a natural state of being.
Real love is not a person. It’s not a thing. Love is in the small things of life. The things you do naturally when you are in love.
Watching your son take his first step. Watching your daughter graduate. Watching your wife on your wedding, wondering what could have made you so lucky. That is real love.