Love and Lust are emotions that can be easily mixed up. This confusion gives us a pile of misleading intentions toward someone.
Even romantic movies portray symptoms of lust as a sign of true love, and the confusion grows even stronger.
We were thought that love equals drama, having something to overcome in order to acquire it, intense emotional highs and lows, a literal battle.
But real love is none of these. If anything, real love is easy, it flows, it makes us more positive and relaxed, it’s the farthest thing from a battle.
Lust, however, evokes strong and intense emotions. These emotions can be a real emotional roller coaster. If neglected, this fire leads to drama.
6 Signs You Are In Lust, Not In Love:
1. You experience more drama than stability.
Real love is about commitment and communication. These two important components lead to stability within a relationship. Passion, of course, is within this equation, however, it’s not the main element. It’s a fire that burns steadily, but it’s protected. If what you feel is solely passion, a raging fire without any form of stability, than you are not in love, but in lust with that person.
2. You focus more on the physical.
Physical attraction is what starts most of our relationships, however, it’s just the spark that starts something deeper. If you are obsessed with their physicality, if all you can think about is undressing them, than you are mostly focused on the physical attraction. The biggest clue that you lust for them is whether or not you still want them after making love. If not, it means that you are lusting over them, and not in love with them.
3. You prefer the fantasy over the real them.
We all have fantasies about celebrities, about our idols, about movie characters. But sometimes we create fantasy about people we know, or let’s say we think we know. We don’t really open up to get to know the real them, but we project our fantasy of who we want them to be upon them. If you like the fantasy more than you like the real them, you are not really in love.
4. You care more for physical than emotional connection.
Like I said, most relationships start with physical attraction. However, naturally this attraction brings us closer and deeper to the person we are attracted to. That’s how we fall in love. We create a deep emotional, mental and spiritual connection. If you care only about their physicality it means that you are not in love with them, but in lust. You don’t really know them.
5. You experience intense neediness.
Whenever love becomes a need it’s not love anymore. The neediness mutates love into obsession. To love someone truly you don’t really need them. You appreciate them, you care for them, you sincerely want them to be happy, be it with you or without you. Lust creates neediness, and unmet neediness creates an obsession that sucks the life out of both of you.
6. Your love is conditional.
Anyone who’s truly been in love can attest to the fact that love is unconditional. Lust, however, is not. Lust is steeped in gratification without concern to anything else. When you lust someone you just want to acquire them. After acquiring them you will move on to someone else. If you love someone truly you want to be with them for eternity, not anyone else.