If you are the mother of a pre teen or teenager, this may feel painfully familiar.
You may find yourself thinking that your child will not talk to you anymore…
You may feel that every conversation turns into a battle…
You may sense them shutting down emotionally while fear quietly grows inside you…
You may lie awake at night wondering if you are losing them…
When we reach this point, our first instinct is often filled with panic.
We ask ourselves what is wrong with our child.
We ask how we can fix them before it is too late.
But here is…
…A Gentle Truth Most Parents Do Not Want to Hear
I want to offer you a reminder that may feel uncomfortable at first.
Our children are often reflections of what is happening inside of us.
They hold up a mirror that reveals what lies beneath our carefully maintained perfect mom mask.
They are not doing this to hurt us.
They are doing this to invite us into deeper awareness and healing.
My Journey Through the Fire of Motherhood
As a mother of two teenage girls, I have lived this reality firsthand.
There was a season when our home felt like a battlefield.
There were constant struggles, daily arguments, and voices raised in frustration.
I tried everything I knew how to do.
I carried the emotional weight of guilt, fear, and self doubt every single day.
At that time, my own emotional pain became impossible to ignore.
I finally understood that if I wanted my family dynamic to change, I had to change first.
I made the decision to seek help and take full responsibility for my mental and emotional health.
Healing Does Not Happen Loudly
The transformation did not arrive in dramatic moments.
It came quietly and subtly.
As I began healing my shadow side and addressing wounds I had long avoided, something shifted.
The emotional atmosphere in our home slowly softened.
Communication began to breathe again.
Trust returned where tension once lived.
Today, my daughters and I share a deep and meaningful connection.
We have slow, lazy days together.
We are far from perfect.
But we accept our imperfections and grow from a place of honesty rather than fear.
The Ego and the Illusion of the Perfect Mother
Parenting has been the most humbling experience of my life.
It has continuously invited me to dismantle my ego and embrace vulnerability.
In many ways, our children are our greatest teachers.
As parents, we carry an endless capacity for unconditional love.
So the question becomes:
“Why our children sometimes cannot feel it?”
Throughout our lives, we build self protection walls.
These walls are created from expectations to be the perfect daughter, the perfect partner, and the perfect mother.
We hide our insecurities behind the appearance of having everything under control.
This emotional armor blocks love from flowing freely.
Lowering the Walls and Opening the Heart
When we find the courage to let go of perfection, something profound happens.
We give our children permission to be human.
We show them that it is safe to be imperfectly amazing.
When this safety is present, children feel free to take risks.
They feel allowed to make mistakes without fear of judgment.
They know they can return to us as their safe harbor when life becomes overwhelming.
Emotional Safety Changes Everything
This is the sacred work I do with myself and with the women I support.
When emotional safety is established at home, children no longer seek validation in harmful places.
They do not feel desperate for approval from the wrong people.
By healing ourselves, we may be protecting them in ways we cannot always see.
Sometimes self healing is not only personal.
Sometimes it is preventative.
Sometimes it is lifesaving.
A Question Worth Sitting With Today
Are we willing to look inward for the first time?
Are we open to exploring our inner world with honesty and compassion?
Perhaps this journey is not only for our own growth.
Perhaps it is for our children as well.
Your Invitation to Begin This Work
If this message resonates with you, know that you do not have to walk this path alone.
Change often begins with a single, courageous conversation.
You can learn more about my work and approach by visiting www.anjananambissan.com and…
If you feel ready to explore what is unfolding within you and how it impacts your family, I invite you to schedule a complimentary Dream Discovery Chat.
This is a gentle, supportive space designed to help you gain clarity, insight, and direction without judgment or pressure.
You can book your complimentary Dream Discovery Chat here: https://calendar.app.google/hAi45FcAbxv7XrhFA
Healing yourself is not an act of selfishness… It is one of the greatest gifts you can give your children!