Regardless of whether it was a long time coming, unexpected, why it happened, or who broke things off, divorce is one of the most traumatic events that we can go through.
But eventually, you’ll reach the proverbial ‘light at the end of the tunnel’ and you’ll begin to feel more like your old self again. You might even use divorce to your advantage, you can reinvent yourself, find yourself, and do all the things that you never got to do during the marriage.
Eventually, you might begin to feel like you’re getting ready to start dating again. But equally, don’t worry if you don’t feel like that just yet. Sometimes, it’s nice to enjoy some extended time being on your own after a divorce, to work on yourself and make sure that you are getting the most from your life.
But if you have found yourself wondering if your Mr. Right is somewhere out there looking for you, there’s nothing wrong with trying to find him either, if you feel like you are ready for this step.
Dipping your toes back into the dating pool can be daunting if you’ve been out of it for a long time. But don’t worry, you’ll soon get used to it again. We’ve put together some tips to follow.
5 Tips to Find Relationship After Divorce:
1. Make Sure That You Are Healed Before You Start Dating.
If you’re still dealing with unresolved issues from your marriage you’re only going to carry these with you and make it harder to connect.
By the time you feel ready to start dating again, you should have done the inner work necessary to find and have a healthy relationship.
Do you understand what went wrong in your marriage and what ultimately led to its end?
It may have been through no fault of your own, but most of the time both parties contribute. Relationship based therapy can help, if you’re struggling to figure it all out.
And, try and make peace with your past marriage and your ex as much as possible before you begin to date again. This doesn’t mean that you have to be best friends with your ex. But you should be at a place of acceptance regarding them and the divorce before you find a new date.
Dating from a place of anger never turns out well.
2. Do Things That Make You Happy.
Dating isn’t always easy, and you might find that looking for the right man for you can feel like searching for a needle in a haystack.
So, while it’s a good idea to be open to the idea of dating, don’t make it your top priority. After all, your marriage was your main priority for years, and now is the time to put yourself first.
What makes you happy? If you’re really not sure because you’ve spent so long taking care of everybody else around you, then it’s time to get started finding something that you can truly enjoy.
Don’t get too caught up with the idea of finding a new date, try new hobbies, find new places to go, and meet new people in the process.
You might find that your new perfect partner is among them. Chances are they will come along when you least expect them to.
3. Know What You Want.
Do you know what you want in a partner? After divorce, it can be all too easy to feel like you’d be happy with anybody but your ex, but this isn’t a healthy way of looking at things.
When it comes to having a healthy relationship, character and compatibility matter the most.
So, before you start dating, take some time to figure out what exactly you are looking for in a partner. Physical attraction is important of course, but if their character isn’t compatible with yours, or their personality isn’t a good fit for you, it’s not going to last very long.
Ideally, your partner should want the same things that you do, at least when it comes to the important stuff, and should share your values. If they disagree with you, they should be able to accept your differences in a healthy way. If you find yourself feeling like you need to make fundamental changes to yourself for somebody, this is not healthy.
Don’t rule out somebody who is outside of your normal ‘type’, especially physically. Often, we have an idea of what the perfect date would look like, but actually, when we meet that person that we just click with and end up wanting to spend the rest of our lives with, they don’t look anything like we would have imagined.
Don’t rule out somebody who is a little heavier, taller, shorter, skinnier, older, younger or a different color than you would normally go for. Of course, you should be attracted to the person, but this comes easily when you find somebody who is right for you.
4. Get a Dating Coach.
If you were married for quite some time and the idea of going back into the dating pool after so long is freaking you out, you might benefit from working with a dating coach.
Even if this isn’t a professional who’s skilled in the world of dating, you will benefit from having a strong support system of people around you who understand that dating after divorce is not easy.
A professional could be a therapist or somebody who works exclusively as a dating coach, offering services to keep you motivated, set and achieve health goals, work out exactly what it is that you are looking for, and help you maintain your enthusiasm.
5. Get Online Opportunities.
Online dating is pretty normal these days and it’s a much easier method of finding somebody than going out and hoping you bump into them. But what if you want something more than just casual?
Sign up for a good dating site, like JustKiss for example, which is designed for people who are looking not just for relationships but also something more, unlike a lot of dating sites these days that are more geared towards casual relationships and hookups.
There are many things that you can do to make your online dating profile stand out, use high quality photos of yourself smiling and doing things that you enjoy, and take some time to write a profile that really helps potential suitors find out more about you and who you are before they decide to send you a message.
Remember, stay safe if you’re meeting somebody from an online dating site for the first time.
Dating after divorce can be a daunting process, but with the right tips, you’ll be comfortable in the dating pool once again.