Do not act on your emotion’s charge, act on their message.
We all reacted on our emotions without thinking at some point, said some words that we later regretted. It’s like our emotions have a mind on their own, and that’s exactly right.
Our emotions are like zipped files that can hijack our mind and unzip specific thoughts they carry. The mind operates differently on each emotion, different tempo, different perception.
That’s why when we are sad we think thoughts that reinforce sadness, when we are angry we think of more things that make us angry, it’s the same with each emotion.
Each emotion has its own sequence of thoughts, its own tempo, its own flavor. Our emotions color our reality, but they also trigger specific default reactions.
Depending on the emotion, we all have a default reaction that we mindlessly execute, and sometimes these reactions make us hurt the people we love the most. Here’s what to do.
3 Step Strategy How To Stop Lashing Out In Anger:
1. Reprogram the default reaction to awareness.
The problem with lashing out is that you become aware of your actions and spoken words after you have reacted to your anger. And most times we feel guilty afterwards. It’s like you’ve been under your anger’s spell to act mindlessly and say hurtful words.
Well it’s not as much as a spell as it is a default reactive mode you’ve programmed. Anger has really potent energy behind it and the momentum of its energy can be hardly stopped. That’s why you should reprogram the reaction rather than try to stop the wave of anger.
To change the default reaction of anger you should make the feeling of anger and irritation a trigger. Use the energy as a signal to become aware of your surroundings. The next time you get triggered, just pause, look around you. That’s how you train the reactive muscle.
2. Embrace your anger, listen to it, feel it and release it.
Having this space of awareness between feeling the anger and reacting to it by lashing out, you have a room to deal with your anger and use it for your benefit. Anger usually tells us that there is a pain somewhere within us, that someone is stepping on our boundaries.
It’s really smart to listen to your anger. Embrace it as a valid emotion and listen to what it has to say. Ask why the specific situation is making you angry, what about it, be specific and dive to its core. What wound within you is it poking at? Ask your anger.
Speak with it. As you speak with it feel it. Let it flow through you. Let it be there for a while. Breathe into it. After you hear it and feel it, thank it and release it by breathing it out of you. Welcome your anger, hear it, feel it, thank it and release it.
3. Choose how to respond reasonably.
After you have discharged the potent energy of your anger you are free to use your clear mind and reason to choose how you respond to the situation. Choose to respond in a way that’s beneficial for everyone included. If you don’t feel like responding, than don’t.
However, be honest about your emotions. Express how you felt. Tell what made you angry. Speak with the other person and tell them if they are stepping over some of your boundaries. Anger is a message, but it exists for a reason, so you can take action.
You still need to act on what this message tells you and solve the core of the pain, heal the wound. Do not use this technique to discharge the energy and hide your emotions. Instead, use it to listen to your emotions and act reasonably on what they say, not on their energy.
If you want to learn how to master all your emotions schedule a free coaching call here. We will find the top 3 emotions that control your behavior and give you the Game Plan how to master them for free.