Relationships are complicated things. And people who try to act as relationship experts make them even more complicated.
Each relationship is different and unique. That’s the beauty of it. The same advice that worked for one relationship might not work for another.
That’s why it’s of crucial importance to not lose sight of what really matters in one relationship, the love between both you and your partner.
Every rule, advice, a piece of information comes second to your love. And it’s ok to ask for advice sometimes. Especially from your friends.
However, most people have no idea what a healthy relationship is so they give bad advices. Here are the worst advices you should watch out for.
10 Worst Pieces Of Relationship Advice:
1. “You can find someone better.”
First of all, if you think like this you shouldn’t build a relationship with someone in the first place. Your partners are not to be measured, you enjoyed different aspect of a relationship with each of them. If you are in a relationship with someone you should see them as human beings, as imperfect creatures just like you with a potential to grow and change.
2. “Don’t let them tell you what to do.”
Relationships are based on mutual respect not on who is better. Moreover, everyone is better at something and each should take charge of their field of expertise. So if you know about something more than them, by all means, tell them what to do. However, id they know about a subject more than you, get off of your ego train and listen to them, let them tell you what to do.
3. “Demand that they show their love by romantic gestures.”
Not everyone shows love the same way. For some, expressing love is indeed through romantic gestures, through buying flowers and little gifts. Others express it through physical affection, through hugs and kisses. Some might joke with you, for others watching a movie and eating popcorn is the highest form of expressing love. Let others love freely the way they know.
4. “Don’t increase conflicts further.”
If you argue with your partner and the issue is not resolved, do not stop the process just so the conflict does not continue. Relationships have conflicts because we are human beings and we disagree with each other in most things, we misunderstand each other and get hurt. That’s why we communicate, to resolve this. Don’t let your feelings bottled up inside.
5. “You have every right to go through their private staff.”
No and no. Just because you are in a relationship together it does not mean you don’t need your privacy. Trust is not build by checking whether or not you are right to trust them. Trust is a leap of faith. You jump and you have faith in them to catch you. And if they don’t, it will hurt, but at least you gave them the chance of real trust. And you still have your dignity.
6. “You should be their highest priority.”
Hmm why? You both build and grow your relationship through mutual love, your highest priority should not be another person. You are your own highest priority in your life. If they can’t fill their own cup, how can they sincerely love you and build a relationship. If you are their highest priority, you will not build a relationship together, but a throne you will sit on.
7. “Don’t let them go out without you.”
This is where most people get it wrong. A relationship should not deprive you of things that give you fun and joy, it should add up to them. A relationship is not a prison, but a partnership that makes both members a better version of them. You are still free to do the things you like on your own, as well as they. You shouldn’t do everything together, that’s not honest.
8. “They should earn more.”
Probably one of the worst advices. Not because it implies they don’t earn enough, but because it projects the value of your partner through how much they earn. Your partner should not earn more, your partner should be happy. They should do what they are inspired to do in this world, and if you don’t support them through this, they are better off without you.
9. “You should not be with someone who doesn’t agree with you.”
Not two people on this planet can agree with each other all the time, even if they are clones of each other. It’s normal to argue with your partner, it’s normal to disagree with them. In fact, some experts suggest that exactly this type of arguing strengthens the relationship. You both open your mind to different perspectives. You should be with someone different than you.
10. “Cheat on them so they will realize how much they love you.”
This wins the list of worst advices. I mean cheating so they will realize they love you, or cheating to get back to them for not showing enough love, is like going to war just so the people can realize there was peace. Instead of doing such unreasonable act, try having a real conversation with your partner. Tell them that you feel unloved in the relationship.