The relationships you have with others are the biggest mirrors of the relationship you have with yourself.
Psychologists tend to say that we don’t see others as they really are, we see others as we really are, deep within.
To make things even stranger, the whole reality you live in is mainly created by you, the parts you are not conscious of.
Your subconscious and unconscious aspects are the main directors of your life’s story, and your conscious part is the one who plays the main role.
Your inner self is mainly mirrored by the relationships you have. They say that a relationship with someone is one of the best ways to uncover all your repressed aspects.
Whatever it is, intimate, friendly, working relationship, your inner self shows up and overlays those relationships in many forms.
7 Ways Relationships Mirror The Self:
1. Your inner wounds show as triggers.
We all experience moments when we act out of proportions to reality. This is called being triggered. But this moments are big messengers of inner trauma and past wounds that resurface for you to heal. When you get triggered by someone be it a friend, your partner, or a coworker, instead of reacting like being obsessed, ask yourself why is this so upsetting to you. What does it mean to you? Drill it down until you find the wound so you can heal it.
2. Your self connection determines your intimacy with others.
The relationships we have mirror the relationship we have with ourselves. If we are not connected with our inner self we will either be too much dependent or too much avoidant to our partner. Because we lack proper connection to our selves we are desperately looking for connection outside. The moment we find something that reminds of connection, we cling onto it or we push it away so it can fight for us. Real connection comes from within.
3. The missing qualities of yourself are the qualities of your partner you are attracted to.
Let’s say that people who are full with energy, extroverted and really open about things are attracting you the most. And especially these qualities in them is what you cannot resist about them. This is a sign that your own extrovertedness, openness and inner passion are blocked. These qualities are missing from the persona you have created for yourself, you have repressed them deep within and the other person reminds you of your truth.
4. The qualities of your shadow self surface as qualities you hate in others.
When you see a person who is lazy and this boils up hate within you it means that your own laziness is being projected upon them. And the key here is feeling hate, it doesn’t mean that the qualities are good or bad, it means they evoke strong hateful feelings within you, that’s your clue. You hate yourself being lazy, you suppressed this in your shadow self, you don’t identify with this aspect of yourself, and these people remind you of it.
5. Traits of your personality you don’t let shine through are things you admire in others.
Think of a kid you always admired while you were growing up. What kind of qualities did they have? What especially did you admire about them? Think about other things you admire in other people. These things are aspects of your own personality you do not let to shine through. You don’t feel worthy of those qualities you admire, or you just think you are not good enough, so the admiration for these qualities you project upon other people.
6. Your insecurities appear as things you hate in your partner.
Every single one of us can be irritated, especially if you are tired or just had a rough day. However, the things your partner does that you hate from the bottom of your heart evoke this strong hate for a reason. Because you and your partner function as a unit, you feel lack of control over the things they do. And when they do things you yourself are insecure about these strong emotions are evoked in a form of hate.
7. Your mindset filters the 5 people you surround yourself with.
They say you become like the people you surround yourself with. And this is true. But also you surround yourself with people that resonate with your mindset. You subconsciously fit and filter in people within your close social circle that think really similarly to you. If you are a guy who wants to party and go out those kind of people will fit your close social circle. If your mindset is more about business those kind of people will resonate with you.