We all have some levels of narcissism in us. If we didn’t, than we are not normal people and we have managed to transcend all of the human flaws. But we are normal people.
These narcissistic tendencies are what impairs our relationship with others. It’s what wounds our emotional body and triggers us to take actions that we later regret.
Because these narcissistic behaviors can sometimes be mild and infrequent, we may fail to notice them. We think we’re doing good and act as if these behaviors are a normal part of who we are.
But narcissism is part of our ego and our emotional wounded self. If we don’t heal it, we won’t find inner peace.
It is necessary to face this part of us and begin our healing journey from here.
Check out the following characteristics if you have any of them. Then identify what part of yourself you need to work on. Be honest with yourself without being judgmental.
12 Signs You Are A Narcissist:
1. You feel you’re not good enough.
When others reject or criticize you, you believe it’s your fault. You feel you’re not good enough, that’s why people couldn’t care less for you.
Thus, you prefer other people’s choices and preferences over your own just to be accepted and loved.
2. You feel the need to do things right.
You try your best not to fail at something to get other people’s love and attention. But once you trip over, you shame yourself without any second thoughts.
You believe it’s only by doing things right that you win people’s approval, which is very important to you.
3. Your self worth depends on other people.
Because you couldn’t see your own value, you seek it from other people. You expect people to be kind, loving and attracted to you that you may feel whole and alive. And when they don’t, you feel unworthy and empty inside.
4. You find it hard to be compassionate with yourself.
Whenever you feel anxious, angry, embarrass or depress, you expect people to be compassionate with you.
If they fail to come up with your expectations, you blame them for your situation.
5. You’re insensitive to the needs of others.
Because you’re so busy with your own emotions and pains, you can’t see what other people are going through.
You think the world revolves only around you, thus, you fail to recognize the needs of others.
6. You feel attacked by constructive criticisms.
Tough love involves directly pointing out the mistakes of others, which may eventually hurt them.
When you receive this kind of care, you take it as an attack against you. Instead of thanking the other person, you choose to attack in return.
7. You want people to change.
When others behave in a way that you dislike, you get them to deal with their actions. If a disagreement arises, you blame them for making you behave in a certain way. Hence, you demand them to change.
8. You feel the world owe you something.
You feel you’re entitled to everything the world can offer. Whether it be money, sex, attention, or approval, you go your way to get what you want.
9. You try to get away with things.
Because you feel you’re entitled to do what you want, you insist on following your own way and doing your own thing, even if it harms or endangers others.
And when you’re called for your offenses, you see it as unjust.
10. You want to get credit for what you do.
Regardless of what you do, you always take credit for it. You want to be seen as superior despite the mediocrity of your job.
11. You believe you’re unique and special while others aren’t.
Other than feeling superior to others, you see yourself as unique and special and are understood only by the people who are unique and special as well.
You don’t associate with others whom you think are inferior to you.
Even if you know people consider you arrogant, you see this as a compliment. You believe arrogance comes with being special and unique.
12. You believe you have the right to manipulate others.
You manipulate others through your charm, brilliance, or anger because you believe you have the right to demand anything from them.
How To Be Less Of A Narcissist?
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders has this to say about people suffering from a Narcissistic Personality Disorder:
“Vulnerability in self-esteem makes individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder very sensitive to “injury” from criticism or defeat. Although they may not show it outwardly, criticism may haunt these individuals and may leave them feeling humiliated, degraded, hollow and empty. They may react with disdain, rage, or defiant counterattack. Such experience may lead to social withdrawal or an appearance of humility. Interpersonal relations are typically impaired due to problems derived from entitlement, the need for admiration, and the relative disregard for the sensitivities of others.”
None of us is perfect so as not to possess any of the above traits.
People who don’t display any of these traits are the ones who have transformed themselves into loving and compassionate individuals. They have completely healed themselves and found their true worth.
For us who are still on our way, recognizing these traits is the first step to healing and self development. We only have to believe that narcissism can be healed.
And once we do heal ourselves, in our own special way, we can make this world a much better place to live in.