We want to be acknowledged, to be recognized, to be seen.
It’s not that we demand for selfish attention. But it’s inherent in our human nature because of our desire for connection.
Maya Angelo brought this reality to light when she said that each of us asks four questions in silence. Even if no one uttered it, we all can relate to these four questions.
Saying ‘yes’ to all of these questions is a sign that you’re building healthy relationships.
Most of us think we really care for the people we are in relationship with, but most of the time it’s our ego that is involved, not our souls. If your answer is ‘no’, to any of these questions, it means you need to go the extra mile of seeing people as they really are.
Say ‘Yes’ To These 5 Questions And All Your Relationships Will Improve:
1. Do you see me?
Seeing others is not merely knowing that they’re physically there, but it goes beyond their physical presence.
To truly see someone is to be present with them, to look into their eyes and connect with their souls. It goes beyond the nod that we give to a neighbor or the greeting we give to a friend when meeting with them.
When we feel the connection with others as we look into their eyes, it’s then that we see them even when we don’t speak a word.
2. Do you care that I’m here?
At times, we’re all guilty of not giving so much care to our loved one.
We talk to them without even glancing at their direction. When they ask a question, we answer with our eyes fixed on our phone.
Caring for them is not only telling them that we love them. Caring for them is giving our full attention whether they need it or not.
3. Am I enough for you, or do you need me to be better in some way?
We usually ask this question for self-assurance. But, of course, we don’t ask the other person literally about this feeling.
We only strive hard enough to be acceptable because we’re not sure whether we’re good enough.
To let our loved ones know that they’re good enough for us, we need to assure them from time to time. A quick glance may be enough to let them know that they’re being loved.
4. Can I tell that I’m special to you by the way that you look at me?
As it’s been said, the eye is the mirror of the soul. Our feelings show through the gaze that we give.
If we’re genuine to a person, we look them in the eye much longer. But if we’re not, we withhold our gaze for the fear of letting them know what we’re truly feeling inside.
So if you care for a person that much, look at them in the eye.
5. Do I really love them, or just need them?
Loving somebody truly means that you wish them all the best from your heart no matter if you benefit.
Needing someone means that you want that person for some personal gain, physical or emotional. It comes from a place of lack.
When you are sure you want somebody to be happy, whatever they do and with whoever they do it, that’s a clue that you care for that person from a place of love and pureness.