Finding the one true love is almost everybody’s dream. Nothing can beat that amazing feeling you get when someone you truly love, loves you back for everything that you are.
Only that love isn’t as the fairy tales portray it to be. You need to be realistic and be present with yourself in your quest for true love. It’s tough, it’s illogical, sometimes it’s boring, it takes a lot of effort and it’s not scripted.
Most often, your partner will be a reflection of your inner world, your inner shadows. So before you start looking for love, it is important that you are honest with yourself about some things. You need to get real about your expectations and your true inner desires.
It’s best to enter into a relationship as a whole person finding another whole human being, instead of looking for parts of yourself in others to make you whole.
There are 3 key questions you need to ask and answer for yourself before you start looking for love. Their answers will reveal important clues that will help you know where to look!
The 3 Most Important Questions You Need to Ask Yourself:
1. How ready am I?
Being ready is looking into the different areas of yourself. You need to ask:
– if your heart is ready;
– if you are ready to nurture another human being;
– if you are ready to give up things like your freedom and independence;
– if you are ready to invest your emotions;
– if you are ready to get hurt when the time comes;
Just like a soldier who prepares himself before war, you must be ready to expose yourself in the battlefield of emotions while trying to win the heart of your love interest including the people around them.
Being ready means allowing someone in your life not out of a dire need but out of a deep want to be with the person and grow in love with them.
Being ready is living a fulfilled and passionate life while being single.
When you look for a romantic partner to fill the gap in your life, then you aren’t ready yet.
You are only ready when you are free of need. You are only ready when you know that you don’t need another person to make you happy.
Your own happiness is your responsibility and you can only create a happy relationship when you are genuinely happy about yourself.
And when you are happy, you are likely to attract a happy partner and build a happy relationship.
2. Are my boundaries healthy?
While others promote love without boundaries, creating your boundaries is very healthy for you and the relationship.
Setting clear boundaries protects you from putting others in front of you. This is important because you protect your own energy and you can use it for things that truly matter.
Healthy boundaries let the other person know where they stand with you and what is expected of them.
Having healthy boundaries make you protect your non-negotiables such as your values, spiritual beliefs, health and other things that are essential for you.
When you stick to your boundaries, you are empowering yourself as well as your partner to respect each other and your own selves, for the greater good of both of you.
3. What do I expect from a relationship?
Having a clear list of the things that you want out of the relationship prevents you from having unrealistic expectations or needy intentions.
Specify the kind of person you want to share your life with. Specify their qualities. How they make you feel?
Be clear how you want to feel in the relationship as well as how you want to live your life. Have a realistic perception on the possible roadblocks of your relationship.
You need to ask yourself whether there are some aspects in you that you want to change. Ask yourself what you can give to the relationship and to your partner.
Do you have needs that make you upset when they aren’t met?
Write all your answers to the above questions on your journal to gain clarity of the kind of relationship you are looking for and want to create.
Having a clear picture of what you want helps you avoid unwanted heartaches and prevents losing your precious time.
Knowing yourself is the BIGGEST key in finding the right person for you and build a loving relationship.