Our real self is who we really are deep from our soul with all the parts that we try to subconsciously suppress. Our ideal self is who we want to be, the superego we look up to.
Sometimes there is a mismatch between who we really are and the characteristics of the superego we look up to. Most of us try to hide this difference by faking who they are.
The best version of ourselves will emerge when we truly accept who we are with all our negative and positive sides.
But, the path to discovering the best version of ourselves can be tricky.
By trying to be who we are not, we are inauthentic with ourselves. This prevents us from becoming the best version of ourselves.
We are all inauthentic with ourselves from time to time. It’s normal in the society we live in today. However, it’s important to recognize these moments and recalibrate yourself to your truth!
Here are the signs that you are being inauthentic with yourself so you can be aware when this happens and recalibrate.
7 Signs That Show When You are Not Being Authentic to Yourself:
1. You speak what would make you look good, not what you really mean.
For some reasons, there comes a time when we hold back what we really think of something. Instead, we say what we think others approve of.
While it may be working fine in the short run, in the long run, it does not project who you really are.
Sometimes, faking your opinion for a long time might even convince you that it’s what your true stance is. It might distance you from your own truth and your real self.
2. You lie about details in your stories that make you look good.
When you try hard enough to be the person you idealize, you fabricate stories and details that go along with the image you want to project.
By doing this, you are giving your memory additional work. The more you do this, the more you confuse your mind as to which is which.
As a result, you have a mind that is not as sharp as it used to be. And, you have a schism in your story of yourself that might confuse you even more about who you really are.
3. You lose control over small things.
Because you have a lot in your mind, you overthink things and lose control. This leaves no room for thinking things over.
Small issues threaten your stability and mounting pressures will eventually freak you out. This happens because you no longer give yourself that space to be just you.
When you are your real self there is no friction. There is no need of forcing to be someone. This saves you tremendous amount of mental and emotional energy.
4. You follow other people’s lifestyles instead of living one of your choosing.
Being the person your superego presents means to be accepted by the kind of people you give authority to approve of your ideal self. This means you have to go with their lifestyle.
If partying every night is their way of life, then you are left with no choice but to party with them. Staying late too often will soon create havoc in your health.
But most importantly, even if they live a healthy lifestyle, you do not get a saying in choosing what you really want to do and how you truly want to live your life.
5. You avoid change.
You shy away from change because you don’t want to deviate from the image you created for yourself. The Ego hates change!
You feel this is the image others accepted you for, after all you spend so much time building this image thus all you want to do is keep it as it is.
Your real self is not a static image or something you can define, it’s always in motion and in a state of becoming.
6. You disregard your intuition.
Because you are busy living different lives and taking care of your different personas, you have no time to listen to your intuition. At times, you even choose to disregard it.
Your intuition is a part of you that communicates with your soul and tries to translate its guidance to you.
Sometimes it might even be confusing, or give you unwanted outcome, but it guides you based on the bigger picture not on what you momentarily want.
7. You evade difficult emotions.
By not being your real self you are creating emotions that you would not have felt if you did not pretend to be the person that you are not.
To reduce your workload, you try to stay away or even run from emotions that are difficult to handle. This suppression of emotions means that you are turning your back on yourself.
The emotions you feel are probably the truest part of you and you are turning your ear away. Ignoring your emotions projects to the world that it should ignore your real self too!
Not being your real self affects the kind of people you attract into your life!
Not being your real self affects your relationships more than anything else. You keep attracting wrong people into your life and building relationships based on lies and fakeness.
The only way to attract the right people into your life and build real relationships is to be who you really are.
When the real you shines, you give yourself permission to become the best version of yourself.
Source: Conscious Reminder;