Find Life Coach | Meet Debbie Wales: How to Free Yourself from False Promises and Live Life to The Fullest?

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Debbie Wales is one of the coaches that we found this month and we did a little interview with her. She impressed us with her experience and strength of character.

She’s been on a journey for over three decades, not just across 78 countries and elite wellness studios, but deep into the heart of human resilience. From teaching Pilates to high society clients on the shores of Lake Como to guiding billionaires, survivors, and seekers alike, her path has been anything but ordinary.

She worked with the richest of the richest, working on cruise ships, luxury hotels, and eventually owning a successful Pilates and yoga studio in Lake Como, Italy. But it wasn’t luxury or accolades that shaped her most, it was trauma, loss, neurodivergence, and the raw work of self reclamation. Diagnosed later in life with Autism, ADHD, and OCD, she faced unimaginable pain, including childhood abuse, sexual assault, miscarriages, and mental health collapse. And yet, she rose. Not by bypassing her pain, but by alchemizing it into deep wisdom, fierce compassion, and radical authenticity.

She is now the coach she is not because she had it easy, but because she had it hard, and because through all that hardship she managed to maintain her zest for life and childlike wonder, her kindness, genuine happiness and positivity. Her sessions are a dance between the ancient and the modern, the strategic and the soulful. She doesn’t promise a perfect life. She teaches people how to live fully, even when life isn’t perfect. Here is what she said…

Meet Life Coach Debbie Wales:

find-life-coach-debbie-wales

Name: Debra Jane Wales

Pillar: The Spirit, The Mind, The Body, The Heart

Who is this coach for: Anyone who wants to free themselves and live life to the fullest while being the best and brightest version of themselves.

How they can help: By using her vast life experience as guidance and cultivating various tools and techniques like meditation, ayurveda, energy work, somatic movement and yoga, just to name a few.

First of all, how are you and your family doing after these Pandemic times?

I’m great thank you, I managed really well, during and after the pandemic.

My mamma is in a care home that she absolutely loves.

There are only 38 residents and they are all lovely friends.

She loves people and she loves chatting so it’s great for her.

Oh, and she’s Resident Ambassador, so she is very proud of that role and it’s great for her feeling of belonging and self worth.

I love my mamma so very very much, and we speak every day, so I feel safe knowing she is happy.

How did the coronavirus pandemic affect your clients? Did it affect you at all?

It’s funny because with all I have been through in my life, you would think it would be really hard, but I’ve done so much processing and reframing, and had personally encountered so many situations a 1000 times more traumatic in my life, that I had built up a tremendous resource of resilience.

The hardest part was really wanting to get back out in the world having gone through a patch of isolation, but I just got on with it, working with what was in front of me.

It was hard knowing so many people were losing their loved ones or their lives, however.

I’m a real empathetic soul.

My mamma had the virus twice but the only symptom she had was a loss of taste, and she kept saying “I’m fine. I’m fine” though I have to admit those few weeks I was really worried.

I didn’t have many clients at the time…

I was still building up again, and I had also been studying and certifying further.

The clients I did have however, were able to process their feelings and fears with me, so they equally faired mostly well.

They were also able to do yoga, pilates, and somatic movement with me so it prevented anything stressful from building up.

We had to move to zoom of course, and I was surprised at how easy that translated from ‘In person’ sessions.

Many of my clients have continued on zoom, which is great as I have clients in UK, US and Italy.

What are the biggest lessons that you learned in this pandemic?

People need other people.

Humans are social beings and even those of us who like our own time need connection.

Look, the pandemic was really hard, of course it was, and it brought the world to its knees in a way our generation hadn’t seen before.

But still, some of us were more prepared than others…

And I don’t mean that in an insensitive way, so I hope nobody reads it as such.

I’ll give you an example…

I knew people who were yoga teachers, therapists, coaches who really struggled…

They had not built the inner resources to manage that time in a way that did not feel like complete panic and fear.

It’s understandable, and many others felt that way too.

So I believe health and wellbeing needs to be absolutely prioritised as much as brushing our teeth…

The best we can do is be as prepared and as healthy as possible.

I also think a big lesson the pandemic taught is the need to allow people to have an opinion and choice that is different to ours.

For example, some people had reasons or fears to decline the vaccine and some had the opposite.

There was so much polarisation around that.

I try to listen to everyone’s point of view, as I know from personal experience, you never know what someone is living with so we need to refrain from judging just because someone has a different response to ours.

The Origin:

Tell us about you, your career, how you started with your coaching career?

I’ve been in this vocation for three decades, initially working in sports therapy, massage and aerobics then falling in love with yoga.

I’ve trained with some of the greatest teachers in the world.

I’ve worked on cruise ships, luxury hotels, and I owned a very successful pilates and yoga studio in Lake Como, teaching high end socialites, footballers wives, surgeons and doctors to name some.

It was natural to me to be coaching at the same time as I was teaching, though I was not naming it as such.

My clients said a session with me was philosophical, spiritual, therapy, coaching, and movement all in one.

At the same time I was attending events all across the globe, certifying further, and becoming more involved with my spiritual side.

I trained in different coaching modalities, meditation, ayurveda, energy work, somatic movement and a pretty exhaustive list of other stuff.

And I was living the life!!!

You know how they say life doesn’t discriminate?

Well it doesn’t!!

I had lost my dad in an explosion when I was 14.

I was horrifically abused, raped, and assaulted by men, and had three second trimester miscarriages.

I was an undiagnosed Autistic with ADHD (And OCD which I would eventually overcome after years of work)

I don’t know how I held it together but I did… until I didn’t!

One day I snapped.

I made terrible decisions, walked away from my studio, and lost everything.

My body fell apart and it felt like my brain fell apart..

I slept walked into what was a kind of suicide attempt (theres a story).

I mean it was a relative train crash!

Cue later date… diagnosed, excavating, exploring, crying, screaming, processing, blood, sweat and tears, healing, insight, wisdom, and eventually starting to love and accept myself.

I decided I wanted to be in this life in the most vital, energetic, alive, and present way possible.

No more playing small, no more allowing anyone to make me feel small.

No regrets.

So that’s the story of how I started coaching.

I had such a rich experience I felt I could add to the coaching arena, both personally and professionally, with the sensitivity of someone who has really been in the trenches and ‘gets’ it, and yet is equally living their best life now.

Essentially my purpose has always been to help people discover the best and the whole in themselves and their life too… That naturally evolved into coaching.

What was your biggest obstacle that you had to overcome in your life that made you who you are today?

Oh there are so many!!

I’m not sure what the biggest would be.

Overcoming mental health issues and suicidal stigma.

Being neurodiverse and finding my place in a neurotypical world.

Fighting for my place professionally…

There can be a lot of misconceptions around someone like me…

The whole ‘less than’ narrative.

Dragging myself around the world to complete my training and at times having to beg for scholarships!

Opening a studio on a whim in Lake Como.

I mean, I just literally put a pin on the map!

I was the first studio there and ended up working with the elite. I speak fluent Italian now.

Then, there was the pain of losing everything and clawing my way up out of debt and despair.

Again, more perceptions and judgements about who I am.

“Oh you had a business in Lake Como and now you’re virtually penniless?”

That kind of sideways glance of “Oh you can’t be that good at what you do.”

Personally, the whole experience also became like many tiny deaths of the ego.

Identifying what my self worth and self esteem really were tied up with…

My identity, status, my perceptions around money and role for example.

My friends say I bought the “First Class Ticket” meaning there was no mediocrity to the things I went through.

I crawled on glass and came through things that would make stomachs churn, and I came out empowered with a zest for life, and quite a sassy character!

I’m as compassionate and empathetic as I am straight talking and candid.

I’m as wise and deep as I am a curious kid.

I dance to know one’s tune and hold no one hostage including myself.

Would I like to go through it again?

Heck no… but iI’m not bitter and it made me who I am today.

The Coaching Style:

How do you innovate with coaching your clients?

First of all, I focus on building authentic relationships…

Trust, rapport and active collaboration are important so that each client is met and heard in their uniqueness, and therefore, their needs and wants are managed as such.

My practice is built on connection, conversation and exploration as much as direct coaching and strategy.

I’m aware of the diversity of brains so I’m careful not to just hand out ‘tools’ presuming everyone processes or learns the same.

However, given I’ve trained in multiple coaching methodologies and other modalities, I have a vast array of resources at hand.

My work is also somatic based.

Therefore, I’m not only listening for answers or ideas, I’m equally observing what’s nuanced in people’s bodies as they’re narrating, or as we’re brainstorming an idea.

For example, someone could have a big dream or proposal but their body is telling me something else, and that needs to be flushed out in order for it to be explored, and then either aligned or dismissed.

Pretending something doesn’t exist is just not sensible… this is when people end up sabotaging themselves at some point, or later realising it’s not really what they wanted.

What’s unique about your coaching approach?

I offer a holistic, dynamic, and relational approach, combining cognitive (RE)framing, psycho spiritual education, and deep body based somatic processes.

Sessions are a blend of ancient wisdom and modern technique.

I can also offer yoga therapy, somatic movement, Pilates, and healthy lifestyle additions each step of the way, or purely as ‘stand alone’ options.

I work with people at different stages of their life, from building a rock solid foundation through post traumatic growth, chronic stress and pain, self image, neurodiversity, and grief, through to making big transitions and decisions, personal growth, self discovery, big dreams, and spirituality.

I work across a spectrum because I’ve walked this path so closely, with as many diversions as there have been nuggets along the way.

Consequently, I get told my superpower and uniqueness is how I bring my lived and professional experience together, and how I deliver my coaching and brand style because of that journey.

It goes back to NO nonsense together with sensitivity.

Explorative as much as strategic.

Dynamic as much as direct.

I’ve been to 78 countries, so I’ve got the best PhD possible, experiential life experience.

My time and understanding with clients reflect this.

What benefits do your clients get after working with you?

I’m going to answer this by starting with a negative (sigh): Life will always pose challenges and loss, and nobody is happy all of the time.

There is just no getting around that regardless of who a person is and where they come from.

Yet, often we try to seek out the utopia of a perfect life and a perfect world because, let’s face it, none of us would come into the world voluntarily and say, “I hope my life is a struggle.”

We all want to be happy, healthy, at peace, comfortable, and fill in the blank.

There are those who sell that dream of the perfect life.

In fact, there are many who are deceived by that message and usually miss some foundational steps, often years later feeling empty, depressed, and asking the question, “Who am I?”

They have not created the internal resources to move through obstacles or expectations when life does not turn out exactly how they had hoped.

This happens across all financial sectors.

For example, I had a billionaire client who felt like this.

She had the money to buy a city but realized she couldn’t buy peace.

I love the idea of a ‘Big life’ and manifesting.

Who doesn’t?

I want my clients to reach for the stars if that’s their dream, and I empower them with that knowledge.

But it doesn’t mean rainbows and unicorns with a violin playing all the time.

It doesn’t mean trauma, depression, or sad days and down days don’t exist, because they do.

Ignoring those fears and challenges becomes problematic, and this stuff has to be acknowledged and moved through.

I can’t just get clients to think their way into that.

That’s the stuff that doesn’t stick.

Therefore, foundational is to understand how to become more centred and present in their nervous system so learning can take place.

They’re also learning how to ‘sit’ in their body and track, examine, and modify their ‘triggers’ and emotional reactions, and to honestly examine their beliefs.

They learn to discern the difference between true or false, and be with the state of comfort or discomfort so they can discover a new relationship to both.

They learn how to have weaker parts borrow from stronger parts or to have marginalised parts come back into the fold.

They learn how to tap into their internal guidance system, their intuition.

My clients discover a real sense of clarity of who they are: their values, beliefs, capacities, and weak spots.

They develop a deep sense of purpose, and the ability to go after and develop fulfilling relationships, strong social interpersonal skills, and excellence.

They become more ‘vitally’ energetic and invest time and energy into their health and wellbeing.

They become more confident, accepting, and kinder to themselves.

They stop taking life so seriously so they know when to let go of things they can’t control.

They learn to be patient and flexible as well as agents with the things they can control.

Many are able to manage chronic pain or illness differently and have a different association with it, finally feeling they are more than the pain that has defined them.

Most importantly, they are learning to build up the resilience and resources to still love and live life even though… and even if…

Meaning, when or if life throws a curve ball or they’re not having their best day, it doesn’t derail them.

Do you use any specific tools to be efficient with your clients?

I’ll be honest and say I don’t think it’s so much about being efficient as it is effective.

Therefore, while I may ascribe to certain models, strategies, resources, and tools, equally important is timing, pacing, and interventions as and when and how they speak to clients.

As I said previously, this is really personal.

The Impact:

If you had a super megaphone that, when you speak into, the whole world will hear your message, what would you say?

If not now… When??

Meaning, don’t let life stop you, and don’t put it off waiting for the perfect moment.

The perfect moment doesn’t exist.

Yes, there are challenges, losses, betrayals, hurts, trauma, and sometimes there is real lack, but it really is possible to change your perception and attitude to those things and completely turn your life around.

What is the greatest lesson you have learned in your life?

Oh, I’m going with three:

1. Regardless of personal beliefs and faith systems, live your life as if it’s the only one you’ll have!

Too often, we live as if the next one will make up for what’s missing in this one… Don’t!!

2. Figure out what really matters to you and do what you can to detach as much as possible from the other noise out there.

Too many people gather too many things that ultimately mean nothing or get upset over things that serve no purpose getting upset over.

It’s not worth it!

3. Know it’s never too late to start again, to do what you love, or to thrive.

So often, people put limitations on why they can’t do something, age, status, money, health.

There’s a fear, a belief, or a societal perception.

It’s true some of those things are hard, and they will definitely be harder for some than for others.

I know it has been for me.

But with hard work, perseverance, consistency, support, and the belief we can do it, we can transform and achieve so much!!

Your final thoughts?

Nothing to add.

Where Can You Find Debbie Wales?

If you liked this interview and if you would love to see how Coach Debbie can help you live life to the fullest and be the best, brightest version of yourself, go to debrajanewales.com and find all about her services.

If you’d like to peak a glimpse into her coaching, follow her Facebook and Instagram accounts.

And if you’d like to connect more personally with her, you can do that through LinkedIn or by sending her a direct message on her Email [email protected]. It was an honor having this interview with her.

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I help people upgrade their Spirit, Mind, Body, Heart to become the best version of themselves! After 10 years of writing, coaching and collaborating with top coaches from all around the world I have learned the best secrets to help you unleash your full potential! You can be a Superhuman! Write me at [email protected] if you have any direct question! Much Love!
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