There’s no magic way to be happy nor is there instant happiness. Others resort to unnecessary shopping and buy things they don’t need believing it would make them happy when they’re actually trying to get rid of stress.
In short, to be happy is not having more, but rather letting go of things that hold you down and blind you from becoming truly happy.
Happiness is the nature of people, as well as sadness. But trying to run away from one towards the other prevents you from really feeling happiness, unconditional happiness, like when you were a kid!
To find unconditional happiness once again, we need to give up certain things we have unconsciously acquired through the years.
14 Things You Should Let Go To Feel Unconditional Happiness:
1. Letting go of the desire to be always right.
It’s not easy to accept defeat, especially when you know you are right. When you know you have to prove how right you are because the things at stake are great, then be right in a right way.
However, when proving to be right could damage relationships such as slight differences in opinion and preferences, you might as well let the other person have their way.
As Wayne Dyer said, it’s much better to be kind than being right.
2. Letting go of the need for control.
Be aware that you live in an environment filled with people who have unique qualities and preferences, just like you. And that you have no control over these people or of their life. What you have control over is only yourself.
Allow people to just be. If you’re not happy with a situation, try to improve it as much as you can. If you’ve done your best and the results don’t please you, it’s time to accept it and embrace things as they are. Letting go, at times, is the best decision you can make.
True control comes when you let go of everything you can’t control. That’s when you get hold of all that you truly can control. And it might not be a lot, but it’s enough. You’ll realize that a real surfer does not try to control the ocean, but their surfing. And that’s enough for them to surf and have fun, that’s when they truly feel alive!
3. Letting go of the blaming game.
Blaming is always a hindrance to one’s growth. No matter who is wrong, blaming wouldn’t help. It’s a bad idea to blame yourself either. Start to take responsibility for yourself but let go of blaming. See where you do mistakes but instead of blaming yourself, use that energy to learn and find better solutions.
Think for a moment. What does blaming ever solved? What’s the real purpose of blaming? All that it serves for is to see who is to blame. It doesn’t solve the problem, it doesn’t find solutions or give results. In fact, it distracts us from finding solutions! Focus on solutions instead of pointing fingers and you’ll have much less burden and a lot more results!
When you focus on your growth, you always end up looking for opportunities to improve yourself thereby getting yourself out of the blame game.
4. Letting go of the degrading self-talk.
Watch out what you constantly say to yourself. Negative self-talk blocks your way to happiness. If you’ve done something wrong, tell yourself that you’re human. Just like blaming, negative self-talk doesn’t serve anyone. In fact, it serves you even less!
We all do mistakes. But you should learn from them not make definite assumptions for yourself. Do you know how many experiments were done before someone invented something? Everything is an experiment that should teach us what works and what doesn’t.
Sometimes you need to go wrong in order to know what’s right and also to keep yourself grounded. The negative self-talk is just the chatter coming from your insecurities. It’s not you, it’s not what you really think of yourself. Whenever you hear a negative self-talk stop giving it a lot of credit and think rationally.
5. Letting go of complaining.
Stop complaining. The more you complain, the more you see negative things. If you keep on complaining things are bad, bad things will happen.
And that’s not something mystical or spiritual. It’s psychology! Good things and bad things happen around you all the time. You just perceive one more than the other. If you keep complaining you focus more on the bad things and you ignore the good things, therefore, more bad things happen for you.
And your mood starts to be negative as you ignore the positive stimuli, your energy drops and your potential to do better things decreases. You are the master of your focus and whatever you turn it towards that’s the reality you’ll perceive!
6. Letting go of criticism.
Criticizing is easier to do than appreciating. That’s because 1 negative trait is enough to overshadow 100 positive ones. That’s how we are wired. But as same as complaining, it makes you see a darker version of reality.
Even more, the critic you think you are for others, you are 100 times worse for yourself. The habit to criticize will reflect on your own self-talk and you’ll never be good enough for yourself. You’ll chase some form of perfection being obsessed by the 1 thing you flaw neglecting the 100 positive traits you can build upon. This creates a negative image in your mind and wastes a lot more energy that could be used for things that make you happy.
Try to avoid the people who bring out this negative skill in you. Instead, hang out with people who are able to bring your focus to the bright side of life. Accept people as they are, no matter how different they may seem. This way, it’s easier for people to accept you as you are. And, it’s easier for yourself to accept yourself as you are!
7. Letting go of the urge to impress others.
Stop trying to be someone you’re not, feel something you don’t or behave in a way that’s not congruent for you just to impress others, or even worse, avoid negative opinions.
We all want to be accepted in a group. We all want to belong. But we want it so badly that most of us fake their entire selves just so they can fool the group in accepting them. Why would you want to be accepted by a group who respects the fake you rather than by a group who accepts the real you?
We do this because most have a core belief of not being good enough. You are who you are. You don’t need to be defined. Others have every right in The Universe to not like you, or like you, or hate you, or love you. It’s their burden, not yours. You just be yourself, as cliche as that sounds. It will make you so much happier!
8. Letting go of resisting change.
As the popular adage says, life is a constant change. Change is often associated with growth. When you resist change, you resist growth. Staying in one place could give you much comfort and certainty. But staying in your comfort zone long enough won’t make you improve yourself or your life.
The walls of your comfort zone will just keep shrinking the zone and fear will make their height bigger and bigger. And if you stay really long inside, you’ll start fearing normal things that most people don’t even think about doing. You’ll create a place that looks like passive hell that’s far from being comfortable but it’s familiar to you. You don’t want to escape from that prison because fear of the unknown and change is too overwhelming for you.
But accepting change will make you realize that no comfort is worth the potential and beauty that awaits you outside those walls. You need to embrace change to grow and evolve. That’s how you take the wheel in your own hands and steer through the constant change towards the directions that you want to go.
9. Letting go of labeling.
We like to label and define things because it makes our options easier to evaluate and organize. But in reality, the labels we put on people and things are a tiny glimpse of what they are. In some cases, they might even portray a completely false reality.
Don’t let go or reject something just because it is negatively labeled. Stop putting a name on something, you never know what that thing is capable of. Besides, don’t put a label on people. People are changing and improving. We are always free to become a different person, to make different choices. We are constantly becoming.
Defining others prevents you from experiencing them in their full potential. Defining yourself prevents you from living your full potential! Open your mind. This way, you’ll become much happier.
10. Letting go of fears.
The moment you face fear and look it as it is, it dissolves. Because fear is only an illusion. It exists only in your mind. You may not completely eradicate it from surfacing, but you have full control of your reactions to it. And when you’re in full control, it loses its power over you.
Even more, realize that fear is not your enemy. It exists with a purpose to keep you safe. Befriend fear and use it to see where potential danger might hide. However, do not let fear make your decisions for you. Listen to what it has to say, think rationally, but don’t avoid facing it if what you love doing is on the other side of it.
Accept that fear will always be there. Letting go of the whole fight between avoiding fear and trying to completely remove it, embracing that being afraid is not bad and that we all are will make you so much happier!
11. Letting go of excuses.
Excuses block your progress. When you want something badly, you’ll find ways.
Excuses just fool you. You fool yourself with them. Either you want something badly, or you don’t. Stop lying to yourself, move on and kick out those excuses. Or, if you don’t want something bad enough, admit that to yourself. It’s ok to not do everything that you kind of like doing. Why waste energy on things you kind of like doing when there are things that you want to do with all your heart.
Whenever you hear yourself giving excuses, stop. Ask yourself do you want that thing that badly. If yes, do whatever it’s necessary. If not, be ok with that. There are countless other things you love doing. Excuses prevent you from seeing this!
12. Letting go of the past.
Whether the past has done you something good or bad, you have to let it go in order to live in the present. The present is all you have and all you will ever have.
All that the past is are interconnected memories that you can remember. Most of them are not even correct, they are remolded with every time you remember them until they portray a false reality of a certain event. All of them try to fit the story you have for yourself inside your own mind. That’s all they are, imagined details of a fictitious story based mostly on real events.
The present is all there was, all there is and all that ever will be! This moment right now, here is all your control and power. Not in the past. Here. Now. There is no anxiety here, no regrets in the now. There is just pure being. That’s why you are unconditionally happy whenever you come to this state of presence.
13. Letting go of unhealthy attachments.
When you’re attached to something, it means you’re holding on to that thing because you need it. It means you use something out of that thing. But once this thing cannot be used anymore, it’s just a weight that holds you down.
Detachment means that you let go of the weight that holds you down. It does not mean getting away from something, it means letting go of what drains you more than it gives you energy. But this does not mean breaking up from any relationship that has a slight turmoil.
Freedom is a healthy sign of detachment. When you are in a relationship and still maintain your freedom and individuality, you’re in a relationship free of attachments. You both make each other better versions of yourself because you choose to, not because you need to. And you can be happy to be just you. In the end it all comes down to what you truly love, what you would rather hold on to. Let go everything else and you’ll be much happier!
14. Letting go of living up to anyone’s expectations.
Sadly, some of us grew up in an environment where people, especially parents and family members shape our destiny. Not only that, nowadays, media keeps bombarding us with messages of the ideal life, ideal profile or ideal lifestyle making us forget our uniqueness and inner voices.
Do not always listen to what the world is saying. It’s you alone who knows what makes your heart beam. When you constantly do what you love, people will slowly notice and even rejoice in your success.
And doing what you truly love, despite what anyone, or even the whole world says, the sole act of living from your heart will make you unconditionally happy just because you trust yourself enough to do that!
Happiness, unconditional happiness is not the destination, it’s not even the journey itself. True happiness is a way of travel!
Inspired By: Body Mind Soul Spirit;